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Monday, July 30, 2012

Breed Prejudice: Getting To The Core Of It

Here is her picture, via Facebook:

Here is the link to the article about her:

Anyone who is this vitriolic and this hateful is obviously extremely disturbed and very unhappy in their personal and / or professional life. Should we feel sorry for her? I don't think so. Should we be frightened by her? Yes. Her agenda is "pit bulls." It could just as easily turn to Blacks, Jews, Gays, the disabled.

And, don't kid yourself, everyone, every single human being always has an agenda be it for good or ill. Even the most saintly folks, like Mother Teresa had an agenda. Most people also have prejudices too. For many of us, we are prejudiced against ignorant people. By definition, Ignorant is: Lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated.

I'm guilty, mostly because I'm butt-tired of stupidity, laziness and folks not using their heads, not to mention their hearts!

There is a way to hammer through any agenda, if for example, you're serving on a theater board, why one member is so resistant to change of any kind. Ask the hard questions AND DON'T LET THEM SQUIRM OUT OF ANSWERING.

There is a way to get at the core of a hateful, spiteful agenda like hers.

The number one question, with a bullet is, "What are you so afraid of?" That tiny word "so" really gets people. Hate and aggression; hers, mine or yours is ALWAYS based on Fear. Always. Distill this woman and you will find Fear raging in her agenda but most importantly in HER core being like a forest fire in a drought.

I ask again: "What are you so afraid of?"

Most people will give you a pat answer or their "agenda". I.E., in this female person's case, "I'm afraid a child will get killed by a 'pit bull.'"

"That was not what I asked. I asked what are you, specifically and only you, so afraid of?" This is where interviewers and reporters fail because they don't push through to the guts, the real stuff. The real agenda. They get blown off, usually by "it's not about me."

Oh yes it is. Intrinsically, at the core, it's about her, it's about me, it's about you.

And that's what their interviewees are afraid of and why their PR people make them stop and why they pull out the Attorney Card. Watch interviewers get cut to the quick when these questions are asked because for most people they are brain and ego busters. The "suspect" will get out of Dodge as fast as they can.

I always ask when I'm given a chance, "Why -- and please don't quote me stats because I can smack you over the head with stats that refute your stats...why (in this case) do YOU want "pit bulls" banned. Not 'for public good' or whatever else you think will sound 'right' or 'make good press' but you personally? Not even because it's God's work or I'm doing it for the Lord. No. What is in it for YOU? What jollies will you get out of this?" (Substitute Gays/Lesbians if you like.)

When I am in this situation, I am relentless. (Even though I am the Cowardly Lion inside.) Some of it is my inherent curiosity combined with cutting through the crap because I'm getting older and time is precious blended with, "When it comes to b.s., I'm the Queen of B.S. and I'm smelling yours," added with a bit of bloodhound on the trail mixed with a dash of Holmesian "All the clues are falling into place!" detective work.

Now is the time to keep at it, stay calm, dig past the rhetoric and you will the truth is there. Once you see the glimmer of truth, their true ego shining strong or beginning to shatter, you know you've got them. You can smell the Fear. It's there.

Then you hit them with this question, "So exactly, precisely, what DO you want?" And I might add, "For your life in general?" You can also add, "What makes you happy?" Again, this will distill the agenda because if her happiness is killing animals or gay people, then you know a lot more about her than you ever would have. Know Thine Adversary. Then you know much more about your "enemy." The more negative, ugly rhetoric they can spew. the more wound up they'll get, the more MISTAKES they'll make. The advantage: the more positive, learned, up-beat counters you can use in your future plan of attack. Very rarely is the average person equipped with the mental or spiritual wherewithal to withstand this kind of laser pin-point questioning. They will make errors, verbal blunders, angry outbursts. You know you're hitting home when they threaten you.

Knowledge is power and once you have that, you can figure out a way to counter-attack. Your job is with calmly yet firmly asked questions to "Boot Camp" them, to break them down to break through. With prejudice, we must always find the hidden agenda and 99.9% of the time it's Fear.

People are sure as hell all over what they DON'T want but ask them to be specific about what they DO want and watch their heads spin!! It's kind of funny because if you hammer at them with "I didn't ask what you DON'T want. I asked what you DO want," most people seriously don't know. Even the Average Joe/Jane usually can't say precisely what they want, for themselves, their lives, their careers etc.

Now this is when it gets tricky because if you haven't begun to gut them and get to the fear, you have to go back. In her case, her distilled agenda is probably: I want to see all 'pit bulls' dead. That's when you flip back to Why? What are you afraid of? and What's in it for you personally?

As we fight prejudice and racism, whether is BSL, same sex marriage, gay rights, race relations etc. we need to be asking these people like this woman (especially if they are publicly out there) in a public forum, these types of questions.

The counter to fear is love or at the least neutrality. If you have love, laughter and compassion in your heart it's a little easier to be a little kinder to the next animal or person you might encounter. You don't have to love all "pit bulls" or "gays" or people of a different color but you can learn to see each as an individual. Human go off on fear-mongering agendas like BSL and gay-bashing because it helps them to avoid looking in the mirror and seeing their own failing, defects and ugliness. It's much easier to go off on some tangent than to face your own stuff.

Run that agenda through a dishwasher baby, most of the time it's all smoke and mirrors and it comes down to they don't like the person in or behind their own looking glass. It goes for us too.

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