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Monday, April 16, 2018

Smoke-free! Now what? Back to....?

To blogging. 
It feels nowadays like I'm lazy.  Un-creative.  Etc.
Guess what?
I quit smoking on March 21, 2018.  Maybe blogging will be a better replacement than fucking food.  Jaysus, I'm eating like it's my fucking job and always at night.
But I'm glad I quit.  It was time.  It was getting stupid and I was a fucking addict, sure as shit.
I quit by watching a video series called Alan Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking.  I think it was extremely worthwhile .  I would recommend it to anyone. 
So yeah, that's really good.  Really!! 
Smoking didn't help Envy and Ellie stay alive.  Smoking was not my friend; it was and is a bitter enemy that was stealing me time, life, money etc. away.  Marty admitted he hated the smell of cigarettes and the smell on me. which is so weird because HE smokes those stupid little cigars, Al Capone's.  But he's an addict too.
I feel better.
I wish my eyesight were better, that's really fucking scary and aggravating but all in all, life is good. 
We've had incredibly cold, damp, dismal weather this year.  Spring is upon us.  It's mid April and except for a a lovely warm snap late last week, it's been fucking cold and dismal.  It's 5:30 and it's bloody 35 degrees outside!  I thought for a moment there it was flip-flop time again but noooooo.  Back to sweaters and socks. Everyone is getting tired of it.  I cna't remember the last time I wondered, "Will spring ever come??  When is Spring coming??"
It'll come.  I just hope it isn't a case of One Day Spring, the next Blazing Hot Summer! 
I guess we'll have to see. 
But I'll face it without a goddamn cigarette, right!!??? 
You bet your ass.

A New Home For Something Old

Some of us (myself included) need to de-clutter or cut down on stuff. I have to keep on top of paper. I've scanned (and continue to do so) old photos and letters so that stuff has permanent storage. I've thrown a lot away that couldn't be reused or recycled. Old stuff we inherit should be used (like Grandma's good china) and enjoyed, not tucked away in a drawer or cabinet. Even knowing this, sometimes it's hard to get rid of things that belong to a family member. Over the last ten years, I've really started to let go of quite a bit of inherited or replaced stuff. Furniture, books, clothes etc. .
But some things are weirder to get rid of.
MY mother LOVED dolls and dollhouses
For a few years there, I gave my mom dolls for Christmas and her birthday. When she died, I got the doll collection, most of which I donated or gave to friends who collected. There are some dolls, like her own doll from 1930 (Maguffy) and the Hungarian doll (which they brought back from Budapest after WW2) that will stay with me and hopefully keep staying in the family. They are dolls with stories.
But there were a few of the "gift" dolls that I really liked that I just didn't know what to do with. You see, I played with my dolls. They were my friends (along with my model horses). Which is why I have never been into dolls you "collected" just to look at. I have agonized for years with what to do with 4 dolls designed by Robin Woods.
Then Fate stepped in.
My last dog sitting client has 2 daughters that enjoy playing with "dollies" and stuffed animals and I thought, "Ah-ha! Here are too likely candidates for New Moms." My heart and soul felt like this was the perfect home for these two dolls.
My mother would be so proud and happy. It made me feel great to give them away to very deserving young ladies. Look at those happy faces! It reminds me that stuff that gets given away or donated has the great potential of a new life. Now I wish I could persuade some people I know to get rid of shit.

Thursday, November 30, 2017

Disney Magic Moments


Scattered here and there......memories. I'm trying to get them all down before Chemo-Meno Brain forgets....I did keep a journal of sorts as well.
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I felt like a real jerk, getting all weepy about meeting Cinderella.  Seriously, I was practically bawling.

"Look, I know you're a beautiful girl dressed like Cinderella, but she's been my favorite Disney character since I was a tiny girl," I said, wiping tears from my eyes, trying not to ruin my Facial Spackle.  No damn hankie when you need one.  Shit.

(She kept in character. Of course.)

"Oh, look at the beautiful dress your fairy godmother made for you."

"My Fairy Godmother was Goodwill, honey.  But thank you."

Meeting Belle was nice as well but I think it was more wonderfully exciting for the lovely Egyptian woman I met in line.....she was so stoked I thought she'd pop out of her veil.  Small world department: her son has had heart work done at the Cleveland Clinic.

(Crikey, I look like my damn mother....)

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And so it began......
Sunday, Jan. 25, 2015
First Toast, Jan. 25th
You know you're on a different sort of trip (especially when you're not a big drinker, which I'm NOT) and you're sitting with the Deck Niners (great group of folks from all over the place), and you think to yourself,

"It's 10 a.m.  I've had breakfast.  I think I'll have a screwdriver.  It has orange juice in it, right?"

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Amy, Jamie, me, Gayle, Seth, Matt

The first we dined at Palo, the upgrade restaurant, and had great service.  My beef tenderloin was a little on the cooked side, but it was good.  The dessert was a rich chocolate mousse cake with to-die-for chocolate sauce.
Note the pinky!

Of course, I was keeping it classy on the Disney Magic....but that damn chocolate sauce was SO good. My cake was done and I just couldn't let it go to waste, now could I?

 Besides I've been thrown out of better places.

Just not at sea.


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Give 6 (pretend) adults feathers, stickers, pens, paper masks ---- and alcohol!!
The big challenge was they gave us glue sticks which stick very little.  I think we did very well!!! Fun at O'Gills Pub.

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Elke Is In her Own Movie

Poor Sportsmanship


For the last 4 years, my crazy Spousal Unit has ridden "Pedal to the Point", a 150 mile bike event from south of Cleveland to Sandusky, Ohio. The event raises money for MS, a very worthy cause. It's always in August which is why, I (having some grains of good sense left) won't ride it. It's going to be bloody hot. Or rainy. Or both. I don't like hot. I try to heat-train but not for that kind of distance. Not happening. Make it in October and I might consider it.

He's always ridden solo in an event dominated by teams. This has worried me because riding alone for that great a distance, even on a well-supported ride, is kind of creepy. But he's crazy and quite brave so it's never bothered him. Other than it being kind of lonely. Long stretches of road and no one to talk to. Or rather holler to. Road cycling is hardly a fire side chat!

This year, he joined a team, "Pedal for a Purpose." Great, I thought. He'll be with like-minded people and while the ability levels can be quite different, they can watch out for each other. That what a team does. Think Tour De France. Marty, having been in athletics and being a Marine (you're always a Marine, even if you're 90. Hoo-rah!) gets working as a team and sportsmanship.

I met some of these people at a fund raiser and I must say, I liked the women BUT I was underwhelmed with the men. I got an arrogant vibe off one of them, whom I believe was the Team Captain. He kind of looked askance at my SU. The SU is not this big strapping guy. What he has is Presence. I didn't say much to my SU about my feelings. Hey, I'm not riding with these folks. He is. However I did say to Mr. Snotty, "I am hoping you all will watch out for each other. You may have a nice bike and all but HE (the SU) knows HOW to ride in a group. He understands and executes the strategy of the peloton and drafting. He is a very good cyclist and he's tough."

For those of you reading this who don't know my SU, let me tell you a bit about his physical stuff. He is
Over 50 (not that that necessarily matters)
Has a rarer form of rheumatoid arthritis and is in constant pain all of the time.
Wears hearing aids, thanks to Hawk Missiles and Other Noisy Marine Things
Has a totally fused curved spine complete with rods and screws.
Cannot turn his head or lift it up at all.
Has 2 (not one but TWO) total knee replacements and an artificial lens in one eye.

This man goes out and rides a bike. 25 miles is a pretty easy ride for him. he's only been riding for 4 years, this time around. He is totally unimpressed with himself, which drives me nuts.

Day One, yesterday, August 4th, was horribly hot; mid 90s and high humidity (which is what gets me). "People were dropping like flies," he tells me. But he, brave little Grunt, pushes through and gets it done, mostly sticking (here and there) with one of his team-mates, a very determined young lady named Tonya and occasionally with another girl from the team, Samantha. Some guy clipped him in the back with the handlebars but other than that, the SU is unscathed. That guy didn't hit and run, which was nice and he was appropriately freaked out and apologetic.

When he's out on these crazy rides, I refer to him on Facebook as "Marine One."

This is my Day Two's Lunch Update Posting on Facebook:

Update from Marine One (The SU).
He's at lunch, about 38 miles in and soaking wet!
He is riding with Tonya S., (thank heavens) the rest of their team having DITCHED THEM.
WTF is that?
I am not pleased with this at all. I am pissed!
The whole idea of a TEAM is you are a TEAM. If you want to ride with the 25 mile-an-hour boys, get your own damn team. Oh and BTW, you ditching losers, Marty was your biggest fund raiser BY FAR on your Damn TEAM! He's older, tougher, wiser and has way more sportsmanship than the rest of you losers (except Tonya of course) on your team. If you would have all stuck together you would have had a peloton and everyone could have helped everyone else. Even the slower riders could have kept up and drafted in the back. Someday, you all are going to be 50+ years old, with health problems or a disability and you could only WISH that you are ONE-TENTH the bike rider my husband is.
F-------U, you LOSERS! I detest bad sportsmanship, it shows what amateurs you are, I don't care how many races you win or fast you got back to Brunswick, Ohio.

Not only did they dump Marty and Tonya, but now he'll have to take her home too. Nice. Really nice. Did you ASK, you jerk-offs? It's good thing my SU is a gentleman.

What I SHOULD have said to Mr. Snotty Bucket at this fund raiser was,

"He's a great sport but if you mess with him or me, one of us going to find your arrogant arse and beat the crap out of it. Clear? Are WE CLEAR?"

Pause.

"You answer, Mister, should be 'crystal'."


My Political Views

I hate politics. Boring stuff, for the most part. I'd much rather discuss sex or even religion! I rather talk about animals, food, play a good game, etc. etc. etc. than politics. I rarely get political humor. I do have opinions, very strong ones but they're usually only tied to politics on a very peripheral level.

I do vote.
I vote because it's a privilege.
I vote because it's my duty. Less than a hundred years ago I wouldn't have been allowed to vote because I have a vagina.
I vote because my dad said, "If you don't vote, don't bitch."
I definitely vote on issues, levies, etc.

In my opinion: Contemporary politics are based primarily on these ideas. I would even venture to call them Facts:

1) People, for the most part sadly, are herd animals, at their most basic level.

2) As such, people are driven by fear. Fox News broadcasts, for example, are all about fear mongering.

3) The most important thing to do to maintain control: Keep people stupid, slightly angry, very scared and fill them with mind-numbing, ideally soul-numbing entertainment and media.

4) Disregard your older ones and those who do not conform to "social norms," the weaker of the herd.

5) Appeal to the basest level of the younger ones who are more susceptible, who are easily coerced by rhetoric, mass appeal, appetites of all kinds. Appeal to the lowest common denominator.
Convince them that by subjugating the elders, the "weaker" ones and the different ones they become superior.

6) Blame all problems on "them," whoever/whatever they/it may be.

7) Slowly erode individual decisions and intrude on people's lives.

8) Become selfish and encourage selfishness. Your neighbor is a (fill in the blank), you must fear him.

9) Knowingly and systematically eradicate personal responsibility. "It's not my fault. It's society, my parents, I didn't have parents, the stars, work......(fill in the blank)"

10) Do not respect the land, its resources and its creatures.

Bread and circuses, my friends.
Ancient Rome.
Nazi Germany.
Know thy history, my dears.


Classes They Need To Teach

When I went to college, in the Dark Ages, (when we still had Women's Colleges, mens' hours, curfews and house rules), you had certain classes you had to take.  Requirements.

For example, every year you had to take a gym class.  It could be horseback riding, dance, archery, swimming.  Something to get your body moving.  Not a bad idea actually. Being a declared Fine Arts major, I still had to suffer through some English (play reading, Shakespeare etc) and one science class.  The Science Types HAD to take Fine Arts 101 taught (in my case) by the uber-dramatic Dr. Harold Fink (and you'd better call him DOCTOR Fink).  We also had to take 4 semesters of a foreign language.  Required.  This was the Liberal Arts Education.  Nothing wrong with it and tons of things right with it.

Nowadays, I pity the poor college freshman or AP High School student who has to take a plethora of money-making, stupid, bullsh*t classes.  Let's say you are a declared Freshman Fine Arts major.  You still have to take stupid crap like Psychology, 3 Math Classes, a Science (and a Lab) and a whole ton load of English.  Granted, most high school students can barely read more or less WRITE nowadays.

Why does a science major have to take Accounting 101, the bane of every student except for Accounting and Business Majors?  Does a Spanish Major really, truly NEED statstics??  Instead of 4 years, it's taking 5 to get your degree because of b.s. classes.  It's all about making money IMO.

But I digress. As usual.

Here are a list of Classes They Should Make You Take from elementary through AP all the way through to Grad School

Fourth Grade: Condoms: A Life Changer
Fourth Grade: Animals Have Feelings Too!

Seventh Grade: Sewing 101: Buttons Aren't Scary
AP: Kitchen Basics: Someday YOU Won't Have YOUR Mother Around.
AP Advanced: Kitchens For Men: Do Ya Think I'm Sexy In My Apron Baby?