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Monday, April 16, 2018

Smoke-free! Now what? Back to....?

To blogging. 
It feels nowadays like I'm lazy.  Un-creative.  Etc.
Guess what?
I quit smoking on March 21, 2018.  Maybe blogging will be a better replacement than fucking food.  Jaysus, I'm eating like it's my fucking job and always at night.
But I'm glad I quit.  It was time.  It was getting stupid and I was a fucking addict, sure as shit.
I quit by watching a video series called Alan Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking.  I think it was extremely worthwhile .  I would recommend it to anyone. 
So yeah, that's really good.  Really!! 
Smoking didn't help Envy and Ellie stay alive.  Smoking was not my friend; it was and is a bitter enemy that was stealing me time, life, money etc. away.  Marty admitted he hated the smell of cigarettes and the smell on me. which is so weird because HE smokes those stupid little cigars, Al Capone's.  But he's an addict too.
I feel better.
I wish my eyesight were better, that's really fucking scary and aggravating but all in all, life is good. 
We've had incredibly cold, damp, dismal weather this year.  Spring is upon us.  It's mid April and except for a a lovely warm snap late last week, it's been fucking cold and dismal.  It's 5:30 and it's bloody 35 degrees outside!  I thought for a moment there it was flip-flop time again but noooooo.  Back to sweaters and socks. Everyone is getting tired of it.  I cna't remember the last time I wondered, "Will spring ever come??  When is Spring coming??"
It'll come.  I just hope it isn't a case of One Day Spring, the next Blazing Hot Summer! 
I guess we'll have to see. 
But I'll face it without a goddamn cigarette, right!!??? 
You bet your ass.

A New Home For Something Old

Some of us (myself included) need to de-clutter or cut down on stuff. I have to keep on top of paper. I've scanned (and continue to do so) old photos and letters so that stuff has permanent storage. I've thrown a lot away that couldn't be reused or recycled. Old stuff we inherit should be used (like Grandma's good china) and enjoyed, not tucked away in a drawer or cabinet. Even knowing this, sometimes it's hard to get rid of things that belong to a family member. Over the last ten years, I've really started to let go of quite a bit of inherited or replaced stuff. Furniture, books, clothes etc. .
But some things are weirder to get rid of.
MY mother LOVED dolls and dollhouses
For a few years there, I gave my mom dolls for Christmas and her birthday. When she died, I got the doll collection, most of which I donated or gave to friends who collected. There are some dolls, like her own doll from 1930 (Maguffy) and the Hungarian doll (which they brought back from Budapest after WW2) that will stay with me and hopefully keep staying in the family. They are dolls with stories.
But there were a few of the "gift" dolls that I really liked that I just didn't know what to do with. You see, I played with my dolls. They were my friends (along with my model horses). Which is why I have never been into dolls you "collected" just to look at. I have agonized for years with what to do with 4 dolls designed by Robin Woods.
Then Fate stepped in.
My last dog sitting client has 2 daughters that enjoy playing with "dollies" and stuffed animals and I thought, "Ah-ha! Here are too likely candidates for New Moms." My heart and soul felt like this was the perfect home for these two dolls.
My mother would be so proud and happy. It made me feel great to give them away to very deserving young ladies. Look at those happy faces! It reminds me that stuff that gets given away or donated has the great potential of a new life. Now I wish I could persuade some people I know to get rid of shit.