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Saturday, September 27, 2014

A Fall Evening

I feel this constant, burning need to be outside all the time, especially on my front porch.  I would imagine that I'm getting all the good weather before it's too cold to sit outside comfortably.

Tonight I'm sitting on my front porch.  It's near dusk, one of my favorite times of the day. It's when my vision is at its clearest and brightest.  The ice cream truck is playing the same merry tune as ice cream trucks did in my childhood. I see kids frantically biking home to hit their parents up for a buck or two.  (Ice cream sandwiches were ten cents when I was a kid.  Ah, inflation!) I hear the crickets' song and the breeze ruffles the tops of the trees.  It's not enough wind to move our four flags; they stand sentinel on their poles.  I hear kids bouncing basketballs, yelling, laughing and calling to each other.  I hear the neighbor's dog squeaking in concert with a train horn as it clacks and rattles on the tracks in the distance.  I lean back in our beat-up redwood chairs and let the sounds flow over me like a lullaby.

It's a soft night. It's early fall in my town.  It almost could be early fall when I was a kid in Lakewood.  I'm happy to be here, to be alive, to be present in this moment of almost suburban Americana perfection.  It doesn't have the glamour, bustle, vibrancy or movement of Chicago, New York or Paris.  It is a quintessential American small town. It's all good. I am content and blessed.  I'm alive.

Monday is infusion three of dragon's blood.  But that's then. For now this is a form of bliss.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Artie Bloo Goes To The Dog Park

Artie says, "Thanks for taking me to the dog park with  Mom!  I was pretty good!  There was a cattledog boy there, he was younger than me.  He'd get a little stupid and Mom would have to tell me NO! I wasn't allowed to 'discipline' him even though he's a less mature than I am...."

There were some stupid people who stood around yakking while their dogs were being bozos.


I still had a good time at the Dog Park.....

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Androgynous Mia Rides The Short Bus

Got my first strange reaction to having no hair.
"Are you a man?"
"Ah, nope."
Bless her heart, I think she was a bit slow

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Second Chemo Done!!

Music therapy was interesting while getting the second dose of dragon's blood.....the therapist recorded it!  FAR OUT! Silly stuff....If anyone want to hear 12 minutes of silliness, let me know.  PM me. The therapist's name was Samuel; he had a big old pony tail!  He had a really cool set-up with a MacBook, iPad, guitar, headphones, mics etc. All on a little trolley!  Brilliant idea!

The nutritionist hopped by and gave me a book of recipes: Eating Well.  That was nice.  the part of the book that cracked me up with "High Calorie-High Protein."  How about LOW calorie, HIGH Protein.

I'm still hoping for Art Therapy and Pet Therapy. Next time?

Wasn't prepared for yesterday "happy accident."  It's been a long time since I've needed to buy "feminine hygiene" stuff.  (OH, did I gross out the guys?  Did I?  Yippee!)  I peed my pants yesterday and today.  FK!  So upsetting.  I have a bladder infection so yet another addition to the drug collection.

Came home and drank some green dragon fuel (smoothie with kale, spinach and fruits....)! I do a smoothie every day.  Now if I could stop eating like a lumberjack at night.  Sigh....

Two down, four to go.  No radiation, thank you very much!  Dragon's blood is ok, dragon fire, nah-uh!

Thursday, September 4, 2014

The Crickets' Song

I sit on my porch and listen to the crickets singing their late summer song.  the night gives me a chill and a thrill as I gaze up at the night clouds, grey against an ageless blue sky.  I feel small and yet infinite in my connection.  I am not alone.  Spirit is always with me.  Love is all around me. I am beyond grateful even in the midst of stress and fear.

"Out of this situation only Good will come.  This is easily resolved for the highest good of all concerned.  All is well and I am safe." (Louise Hay).

The moments of panic and worry about the show, my body and my strength will pass.  Spirit runs through me and will sing through me. The dragon's blood will only strengthen my soul in the long run.  I may be in a crucible at times but gold comes from such things. I have to hold on to it.  The right people are all around me, Spirit brings me such gifts beyond human comprehension. I just have to keep on walking.

And the crickets sing on in the deepening night.

Highs and Lows and Calvin Klein

NO wonder this dress looked good even on Tubby The Fuzzy Headed Tube (me!) It was a Calvin Klein and at over $200 it was way out of my budget.  But it was fun to try on!  Covered all the bad crap. Made the fat crap look ok.

Man, my old Spanx saw me today as I pulled them writhing in agony out of my purse and almost ran screaming out of the dressing room!

"They've outlawed whaling!  I can't hold her any more, Captain!!!  She needs a friggin' Iron Maiden!"

They WERE old but I think trying to squeeze myself into them has forced them into honorable retirement.  I saw that big old stress runner.

What a day of ups and downs, highs and lows, disappointments and great finds.....I need a bath and I wish I could have a drink, LOL!!

Monday, September 1, 2014

Snort Fest

Having a giggle with friend Rob the day I discovered that yes, my hair was starting to fall out! There was much snorting as well....

I snort when I laugh!

Man, am I fkg fat!  Bleech!

Fuzz Butt, Fat Butt

The preemptive hair cut.....a few weeks ago.
I couldn't imagine being in a better place (Hungarian Festival) or with better friends (Bini and Rob) to discover that yes, my hair was starting to come out today! Ironically, it was the gray hairs that were coming like gang busters! It was kind of nuts!!!!
Hair before the cut....

It starting falling out today (the hair) so The Spousal Unit shaved it off. I knew those dog clippers would coming in handy, LOL! I know the SU did want to shave it but when your public hairs start falling out, it's MORE than time!  I can only imagine how frustrating and frightening it must be for him. 

My friend Kim shaved the nape of her name for me and her friend Linda who has breast cancer. Kind of overwhelming to have a friend will to do that for me.Christy Duran Warthling was right; I'll kind of rock this new "do." Now if I could just drop 40 pounds.....LMAO! I feel like Tubby the Tuba was a fuzz bucket head. Henna cap, here I come!