A Gift Of Music & Memories

 Yesterday, Al, Terry and I went up to Lakewood to check out the piano player at the Waterbury Tavern.  An old friend of mine from Stompin', Gerry Keating, sings there on Wednesday nights.  We each got to sing with the piano player.
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His name is Michael and he is superb!!  One of the best guys I've ever sung with!  He's young too, maybe in his 40s if I had to venture a guess.  Lovely person!

I sang Embraceable You, I Don't Know Why, Fly Me To The Moon and Someone To Watch Over Me.  I cried during that one.  Michael followed me and also challenged me by modulating during a few of the songs.  Wow!

Gerry called another old friend, a guy I gigged with for years, Steve Samuel, and he came over with his clarinet. It was great to see him and hear him play.  He's a very fine reed player! He complimented me on my singing and said I had so much depth, command and emotion.  I did feel like saying I've been at this for a while so I would hope I'd improve!  But the words were indeed welcomed and I'm grateful for them.

I told him I had been learning the ukulele.  Long story short, he had an old uke that he had purloined from a school he taught (it had never been inventoried) and wanted me to have it.

Eulalie, Ka'mea, the baritone & Adelaide

Are you kidding?  Sure!  He doesn't play it and he's had it for years.  We went to his apartment and he hauled out a BARITONE ukulele!  Hell yeah!

So I brought her home to meet the other ukes.
 
Today I took her to Pekar Music and sadly, she's in really bad shape.  Her top is coming off, her bridge is coming unglued, the neck is warping and beginning to crack.  It would cost as much as buying a new baritone uke with a pickup as if would to fix her.  Even then it would be a temporary fix.  I was wondering about the bridge, frankly.  

So even though she can barely be played, she can hang on our wall, in a place of honor, remembering good times and a generous musician friend.

Professional Rant

Major Rant Warning: Do not read further if you don't feel like reading a rant.

I know my worth, finally after all those years of people putting me down, denigrating me, telling me I'm not as good as so-and-so, telling me I ain't got no talent, etc.etc. etc.

Do not try and cheat me on a gig. Do not try and cheat me on my photos.

Utah Cowboys © Mia Hess, Dogbuttz Photography

No, sir, I don't CARE if your church would "like" my cowboy picture; it's still XYZ price for an 11x14. I only give away my art to people I love and respect as gifts. I've won awards for my photos. I've also been paid for my graphic art and I'm not thrilled that someone decided to change it without asking me first and getting my permission and authorization. (I'll have to put that in the next contract...) I'm really incensed about that.

No, Mr. Band Leader, I've made XYZ on this type of gig, this SAME gig for the last 10-15 years. You do not get to pay me $15 less especially when I had to trudge through mud to get the site in a suit and pumps and your sound system is so old it doesn't take my mic cord. Funny, It did every other time!.

I've been singing professionally since 1981 and acting professionally since 1970. When I volunteer my time and talents; it's by MY choice, not yours.

Oh my, it sounds like I grew a pair big enough to bust out of my bra and I put on my big girl panties, doesn't it? Meeeee-yow!!

On a positive note, I found a smashing, long, red dress to wear for our show for only $30!! Who's all coming?

Why Great Songs Last

"Words make you think thoughts.  Music makes you feel a feeling.  But a song makes you feel a thought."

Yip Harburg, lyricist of Somewhere Over The Rainbow.

Now you know why I love to sing standards.  Why they matter and why they've lasted for decades.  And why they will continue to last.

The Ukulele and Transposing Songs (Starting Out)

"Always" from the Daily Uke Book
with my scribbbles

So here's the deal.  I have tons of music and now two ukulele books.  Plus there are some great uke sites out there with tons of songs.  I think doctoruke is the best.

Great!  Fabulous!  Love it!

Tons of music but damnit, very very few pieces out of this massive collection are in MY key for singing.

I don't mind learning to play stuff in a "Not my key" key but being a singer first and foremost, I don't want to focus on memorizing ukulele stuff that ain't in my key.  Why the hell would I do that?

Here's the weird part.  I was taught Reverence For Books.  I drew in my books as a child and yes, my parents let me.  Which was, in retrospect, very nice of them.

I order two ukulele books. At first I was thinking, "Ooooh, it's a book.  I better not write in the book.  That would be BAD!"  Then I thought about that and I said to myself, "It's a darn music book; it's not a first edition of anybody's! Go ahead, write in the damn book,  It's yours!"

So my uke teacher gave me an assignment:

Three songs transposed by sight (mostly) in a week!  I chose these three:

"It Had To Be You" (from F to C)
"You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You" (from F to C, that one was pretty easy) and
"Always" (from F to C and F to Bb).

"All Of Me" was one step off from the Daily Ukulele book, but I can sing it in that key.

Of course, I had to look up weird chords on the internet like Ebmin6!

Oh, yeah, I just have that one tucked away in my Ukulele Chord Memory Bank.

Uh, that would be, "Hell, No."

Reverend Mother, I confess that on "Always" I had to use the old, paper musical slide rule for 2 chords.  I couldn't make the transposition by counting, by ear or in my head, especially from F to Bb.

Now the trick is to PLAY them --- especially the upbeat songs!  Sheesh!  Singing this stuff is easy, easy, EASY!  I still suck at strumming.  My uke teacher says I'm doing just fine.

Learning to play: hard.  Playing AND singing together is REALLY HARD!

Me, Al, Leo and Dale
(photo by Paula McKenzie)

How does my friend and mentor Dale​ do it?  I'm in awe of people like him!  He was the guest artist for our show on August 29th.  He did "Dream A little Dream Of Me" with us and "Dream." He just watched Leo's hands on the piano and played along. Seriously?  Who the hell can do that shit? It's amazing!  I could only aspire to being that quick and that good!

Music: Start 'Em Young

 I had my great nephews over today....I'm exhausted!  I showed my older great nephew (B) the rudiments of drumming (can you imagine THAT, LOL!) and he actually had a good sense of rhythm!  I also taught how to do the C chord (the easiest one on the uke) and I sang Frere Jacques along with him while he strummed, LOL!  I have an old candlestick phone with a rotary dial that works and those kids are simply fascinated by a rotary dial phone!!!  B was so interested that I could change the batteries and clean the terminals on my poor old Lighting McQueen plastic car; he watched in utter fascination as I made it "talk" again.  I am so NOT mechanical (and it's a big family joke) but I felt like Go-Go Gadget because I could figure out how to get the sucker talking again!  I felt like a genius!  LOL! Trying to think of things to do with a 5 year that don't involve planting him in front of a TV is very challenging!  He's not a coloring book type of boy! Phew, I'm exhausted!!!!  I need a nap!

A Dream Come True

Dreams do come true! I have always been a huge fan of Dale McKenzie's. He such a talented guy and his wife Paula McKenzie is such a cool, darling lady. They came over to our house tonight for grub and an impromptu music session happened. (I think it was Dale getting his hands on Marty Hess' lovely guitar).

I'm a beginner uke player and I have always wanted to sing with just Dale and a guitar. I've known he's a really gifted musician and to have to opportunity to play and sing with him the few songs I (kind of) know on the uke was a terrifying joy. I was a wreck! Marty played the drums too!!

We sang "Misty" and played "Dream A Little Dream Of Me",(which will be in my show on August. 29th...shameless plug) "Moon River", "You Always Hurt The One You Love" and "I'll See You In My Dreams" together. What an honor! I can't begin to tell you how much this meant to me and how encouraging Dale was! What a great team the McKenzies' are!

Now I gotta get good!

"Successfully Recorded"

I got a new old piece sheet music!  I love Dame Vera Lynn, so I'm excited to add this to my collection.  Plus I love the song!

Look on the left hand side.  See where it says "Successfully recorded by Vera Lynn?"  I'm wondering if they ever put "Unsuccessfully recorded by So-and-So?"

Hmmm....kind of makes you wonder (and giggle)!

Feeling Vindicated!

So proud of my vocal coaching student, Jenna (daughter of my dear friend Kim) for getting the role of Dragon in Shrek the Musical at Hudson High!  Woo-hoo!!

 We beat Dragon's song to death and she rocked it!  I urged her to go for that role.  I may not be able to play the damn piano but I can coach people!
@FeelingVindicated!!

Coincidence In Marietta

I think this picture tells a story. 

But the true story is so incredible I couldn't make this up if I tried.... 

This past weekend I did a murder mystery in Marietta, Ohio. Upon arriving in this river town Friday, I walked along the shore. I viewed an amazing "god-sky" sunset, thinking about an old friend who had passed on early that morning. Her name was Susan Carr Berilla. I thought how lovely and fitting that the rays piercing through the clouds made the water iridescent, transcendent.  I felt close to Susan's spirit.  I could almost hear her laughter on the breeze. I know she was a person of deep faith but with her brilliant sense of whimsy she would appreciate the somewhat ironic beauty of this peaceful scene.  

I shed a few tears for an old, remembered friend. 

I heard soft guitar notes on the breeze and followed them. I chanced upon this young man, a budding songwriter home from Washington State. 

He played one of his songs for me.  I told him I was a professional singer, gave him words of encouragement.  I asked him, when he was famous to remember a singer named Mia Hess.
  
I asked him his name. 

His name was Dalton.

Dalton Carr.

No relation. 

No accident. 

The MM Collection: Some of the Orphan Songs

Still going through sheet music....Interesting, frustrating, fascinating, wondrous.

  The oldest one so far is 1909 or maybe 1904.  The newest one, I think, is Those Were The Days by Mary Hopkin.  

I can't understand why these songs never made it into the popular song lexicon of the 40s and 50s.  I can't understand why I can't find recordings of these big hits!

*Yippee, Ki-ay, Buy A Bond Today (Really? it's a song about war bonds...can't find a recording of it!)

*I See Through You, 1945 (Darn those x-ray glasses)

*Oh My Lord (Well, at least not this 1944 version by Allen Ward)

*There's A Smile In Your Eyes (Well, for once he's not looking south....)

*Too Little, Too Late (no, it's about 30+ years before the one I know just floated in your brain..)

*Talking In My Sleep 1945 (Again???  Man, what did I say NOW?)

*Blue Clouds

*Hecky Darn!  (Aw, come on, really?  No recordings of this one?  Maybe if they changed the title to "Hell Damn" somebody might record it! It is billed as a "Novelty for 2 Men and A Girl."  There are so many ways that could go so wrong....)

*I Can See It Your Way 1945 (finally!)

*What, no HARLEM CASANOVA???

*I Wish We Didn't Have To Say Good-Night from a movie with Carmen Miranda called Something For The Boys.

*Wings To Wear Upon My Heart

*A New Ten-Gallon Hat (nobody wanted it?)

*Hoboken Hannah (Can't find her or any recording it....)

*Lonely Nights (And, no, no, no it's NOT the "Where would I be without my woman?" one.)

*Two Shadows In The Sunset.  It looks sweet....

*You're Gonna Hate Yourself In The Mornin'  (Many-a-time many folks has thought this...or received this friendly warning.)

*Somewhere There's a Rainbow (Obviously, not in the musical recording area....)

But today real startler was what was sure to be a sure-fire hits for someone in that era.  If Dean Martin can sing Hominy Grits (true) and another big singer of the time can warble out a tune called Salt Pork West Virginia, Why hasn't this one made the Big time?  How has this one missed in a era of Come-on-a My House and The Teddy Bears Picnic?

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO MUCKLEFUTZENHEIM??

Say What???  Whositfuckin'him?

No, "Whatever happened to Mucklefutzenheim?"  That's the name of the song. Swear to God. Words and music by Jean Herbert...

And the research continues.  So far, I've found 512 songs corresponding to the sheet music.  Some of the songs are lovely.  I am gaining a grudging respect for Perry Como's library of songs he performed and the Three Suns annoy me at times.

Now THAT's Singing

Great job, Mr. Seger! I've never been a huge Seger fan but the man could sing.  As is apparent here.  (Bob Seger sings "Hollywood Nights" a Capella). Remember, I'm not much of a rocker.  I'm more of Pop and Standards girl.

I was just complaining about this yesterday to a 20-something as my ears were being slammed with sound...

Young people, including this, will say "Isn't s/he great?"

I say: "How in the ____ would I know? First of all s/he is rapping, that's not singing. I don't care if there's "music" in the background. Let me hear him/her live a capella. Without all the processing and auto-tune crap. Let me hear him sing some Smokey or Vandross or Eckstein. Then come and ask me!"

This is what any competent to great singer can do, sing with no accompaniment, start and end on the same pitch and keep a beat.  I can do it, thank God.

HERE is the song with all the bells and whistles. (Original album version). And Seger was still singing it as of 2011 albeit in a slightly lower key. Still cranking it out.

Good for you, Bob! He's was 68 in May 2013.

I May Be Cheap But I'm Not Free

Number 19!!!!!!!!!! 25 Situations Only Non-Profit People Get If you ONLY knew how many places want me to donate my singing, and "Oh, yes, you'll pay for your accompanist, right?" Right. So, wait, let me get this straight. I have to actually PAY money (about $150) to donate to your cause? And haul the equipment and set up etc. etc. Maybe I'll do it once a year AND I have to really believe in the cause. But oh, I've had a bunch call me up. It starts with sweet talk....like someone trying to get into my Vocal Panties and it goes downhill from there. "So and so says you're a WONDERFUL singer..." And then they're insulted when I say "No." And when I suggest that they themselves underwrite me, as a donation to the cause? There is that gasp. They wouldn't actually HIRE me but they want me to do it for free? And to top it all off, they treat you and your fellow musician(s) like crap, b*tch about how all you play is "that old sh*t" (hey, you KNEW from the get-go I'm a Standards singer) and don't even feed you.

Music: Don't Cry

Costume made by Marcia Detweiler,
restored by Deb Langenhop 1998

I've started to scan, archive, even photograph my friend's mom's (and grandmother's) sheet music collection.  Her mom, Marcia Merritt, was a professional singer on the radio (among many other talents) so she had a ton of music. She also was a sculptor, costumer, actress, made all her own clothes, doll house furniture builder,  Etc. etc. etc.

As I start going through this collection, I feel somewhat humbled.  This is a family legacy.  As of this writing, Marcia is still alive but alas in a nursing home.  Her daughter and grandchildren are very musical.  I've been in plays with all of them!  I wore HER costume as Dolly in HELLO DOLLY! at the same theater in 1998.

Now I'm one of those odd ducks who likes to HEAR what it sounds like, so you become a Musical Detective-Archaeologist.  Some songs are easy to find, others......
Oh.
My.
God.

This song, (DON'T CRY published in 1942) as far as my research led me, was never recorded but at some point it was filmed.  Band leader is a pianist, Vincent Lopez, singer is Sunny Skylar (I think), who also wrote the song.

Sunny's real name was Selig Saftel.  NO wonder he changed it!  He also wrote Amor, Get Be This OR That (big hit for Sinatra), And So To Sleep Again and the English words to Besame Mucho, which I've sung a thousand times!

How's that for obscure? LOL!  It's kind of nice little fox trot ballad-song from the War Years.

Here is a link to the only "sound" version I could find.  On good old Mother YouTube.
Don't Cry

Songs I Wish I Never Knew

As a singer of many songs, there are LOTS of songs I love to sing.  Songs that never grow old. I have sung "Misty" (a huge hit for Johnny Mathis) probably a thousand times and it doesn't get old.   Neither does "As Time Goes By."  I love "Because Of You."  I get chills when I sing it. Etc. Etc.

And so on.

I am, thanks to the piano player I'm working with now, learning new standards.  Exciting and terrifying.

But there is only so much room in the hard drive of my brain to hold so much information.  I'm not trying to brag here, but I would guess-timate that I know 1,2000+ songs off the top of my head. Learning something new or difficult poses some interesting conundrums.  Thank god for 4x6 file cards with the words.

I'd like to empty out some of that cranial hard drive to make room for more songs, provided I could really learn them with assurance.  Memorization is getting a bit harder, but I persevere!

So.  Here are some songs I'd love to never sing again.

OR hear again.

OR think about again.  Ever.

(The caveat being that I had to have sung them in public on a paying gig.)

In no particular order:

"Honey" by Bobby Goldsboro.
Makes any respectable baby boomer cringe.
Horrible, dripping, oozing, depressing, pestilent piece of dreck.

"Satin Doll" should be played.
Never sung.
Especially by a woman.
Every vocal version sucks, Including mine.

"Feelings."
Yes, really, I had to learn this. "Feelings....NOoooo-whoa-whoa....feelings."
God help me.

"Punky Pumpkin" 
Poor Rosemary Clooney.  In her "Patter Songs" years.
This make "Come On-A My House" look like "As Time Goes By."
A great singer singing a stupid patter song.
Kind of in the same family as "Teddy Bears' Picnic."  Except everyone over 65 or a Capt. Kangaroo watcher KNOWS that song.
I've done Punky Pumpkin twice now, at the behest of my piano player who cheerfully encourages the senior audiences by kindly saying, "You all remember this song!"  And none of them ever do.  Ever.  Two minutes of wasted musical space.  Blank faces.  Retire it.

I can now sing "Girl From Ipanema" but it's taken 20 years to get over it.

"Rag Mop"  "R./I say R.A,/ R.A.G/....R.A.G.G....RAGGMOPP, Ragmop," etc.
Make it stop.
My piano player loves it.  It was a big hit when he graduated.
Really???
Well, "American Pie" was a huge hit when I graduated.
Oh, wait.
I've sung that one too.
Shit.
I absolutely (insert long string of swear words) HATE THAT STUPID SONG.
Make it stop.

"For All We Know."  
OK, I admit to loving many of the Carpenters songs.
They are a guilty pleasure.  Like Barry Manilow.
Admit it.  'Fess up.
You all have at least guilty musical pleasure.
This is their worst song and the Worst Wedding Song ever.  OH, wait...that would be....

"There Is Love" ("He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts...")
Goes on record as the Worst Song I've ever had to SING AND PLAY.
Yes, folks, I used to play that on the guitar. A double Musical Low in Mia's Career!!

"If" by Bread.
Once a decade is about all I'm good for.

"Total Eclipse Of The Heart"
Man, what a personal, musical low point in my career. The sheer thought of having to sing that again makes me want to hurl. Dinner. Something sharp.
I'm sure Bonnie Tyler is probably a very nice lady, but what a crappy singer.

"Evergreen".  Yes, I know it won and Oscar for Best Song.  It wasn't a great year.  Obviously.
Plus to hold out those last 30-bars-on-one-breath and hit the notes right is not for the faint of heart.  Or smokers.

"The Pina Colada Song." You know the one.  "If you like pina coladas/and getting caught in the rain."  Thank god I only had to sing it once and somebody else had the words.

"Memory" from CATS.
I hear all you Broadway and Webber nuts. "How dare she slam that song? Sacrilege!"
Look, you always end up doing that damn song usually towards the END of a gig when you're butt-tired.
It starts in the stratosphere and never comes down.
It can go so wrong, so fast and make any decent singer look like a tuneless, amateur-ish hack in about 2 seconds.  You can go flatter than a triple-A bra in a nanosecond.
I always breathed a huge sigh of relief when I got through that endurance run with my dignity intact.

"All I Ask Of You." 
Please.  Don't ask me. See "Memory."  
Worst duet ever.
Oh, wait.  It's tie with:
"You Don't Bring Me Flowers."

"Tomorrow" from ANNIE.
Of all the good songs in that show (and there are a bunch), why is THAT the one everyone knows?
If I ever had to cast a kid in anything and they sang that for their audition, I'd show them them the door.  "See ya tomorrow when you've got a different song!"

"The Sound of Silence."
"Hello, darkness my old friend..."
Don't turn on the lights,  Please.
How that really made Number One for WEEKS is beyond me.  From the same folks that brought you "Feeling Groovy," which I think it a cute song.
I sang it once.  I needed a drink and at that time, I didn't drink.

There are others.  I bet you can think of some yourself, especially all your performers out there!

But, Number One, with a bullet.
The worst of the worst.
The Lowest of the Low.
The True Toilet Bottom of my 30+ years as a professional singer.
Yes, I had to do it.  Numerous times.
When my old band leader (who never wanted you to look at the words) would start playing the intro for it, I'd glare into the heavens, inwardly curse, deliberately reach into my music box and pull out the word card.  I refused, adamantly and vehemently, to learn the words.
Worst upbeat song every.
Worst country song ever.
Worst line-dancing song ever.

The Spousal Unit still thinks "Honey" should be Number One.
But since I sang this horrible piece of crap about a hundred time as opposed to two or three of the Bobby Goldsboro P.O.S., "Achy Breaky Heart" gets my vote for Worst Song Ever.

Priceless

Looking up words to Lara's Theme from DR. ZHIVAGO) -- 15 minutes of my life I won't ever get back.

Printing the words out -- .02 cents (paper, ink)

Never, ever, ever having to ever sing it --- PRICELESS!!

I sure as heck hope they don't request it tomorrow night. It'll be a new low, right down there with "Feelings" (whoa, whoa, feelings...) and the ultimate "I refuse to clutter my brain with ever learning the words to this ka-ka-poo-poo -- that's why have it written down" song ---- "Achy Breaky Heart."

Auditioning For The National Anthem

Despite what my Facebook status said, I didn't sing for the Akron AEROSOLS baseball team, it was the AEROS. (Damn you, Auto-Correct!)

My S. U. graciously took me to stand out the AEROS stadium this past Saturday. It was REALLY cold. Thank God he had talked me out of my original audition outfit, a skirt and blouse. "It's freezing outside! It's the Aeros for God's sake!"

"It's an audition!" I whined back.

"You're going to freeze," says Mr. Weatherman.

"What? I'm supposed to wear my stuff for the Humane Society?" I was going there next to help with an Education Program (I did feel that would be a Social Faux Pas actually, that it would be unprofessional and DISRESPECTFUL.)

"It's the Aeros, for God's sake! You're gonna freeze."

"It'll be inside, I'll be fine!"

"IT'LL BE OUTSIDE! YOU'RE GONNA FREEZE!" This is turning into a huge Fashion Debate.

"Fine!" I think. And I change. We're standing in line and I'm thinking....could he be right? In the lobby area they had a table where you filled out paperwork and then we went down a long hallway and yes, into the stadium proper. They file us into a line that goes down stairs to one of the gates that leads onto the field. It is freezing and the wind is blowing, circling around the stadium, whipping hair, coats, scarves into a frenzy. I turned to my S.U. and tell him, yes, he was right about my wearing pants!

There are about 6 to 8 people in front of me. God/dess bless them all for trying because I'll bet most of them thought it was ---

a) going to be indoors
b) there would be a piano player

Oh, no! You walked out to (I think) the pitcher's mound and (luckily) faced away from the stands. As I listened I was so glad I had brought my pitch-pipe so I could start on a good note. (NO pun intended.) One of the weird things that happens is if you listen to other people singing, sometimes you pick up their habits or pitch. And with one exception, I was rooting for most of these people to please, please, please Pick A Pitch And Stay There.

Of course being good sports, we all congratulated each person as they came off the field. It is a big deal and it's pretty scary stuff. I kept quietly hitting the Bb on my pitch-pipe. I felt that if I could start right, I could finish right. I began to walk out on to the field, and it was even colder down there. I actually trotted out to the guy with the clipboard and handed him my wildly blowing audition slip. "Hi, how are you? Man, it's cold out here1" And it's really BIG! You don't know how big a real stadium is until you are actually ON the field.

"You are...Mia?"

"Yes, that's me!" He told me how to hold the mike. I took a steadying breath and started to sing. I screwed up one word: "Blare" for "Glare" (I always seem to do that...) and I think I could have hit "free" better but other than that, I thought I did well. The guy with the clipboard said, "That was fantastic!" Thank you, thank you, I'm thinking. I thanked him, said it was fun and trotted back to the doorway back into the stadium.

As I walked up the stairs, people said it was great and I thanked them. One guy said, "You've done this before!"

"Only in Canada!" (I forgot about Nautica ages ago. Another story for another time.)

I'm glad I did it even though they are only looking for 19 people and there were 87 folks there.

There is the ABJ article video...I am not in it....thank God!

Terror On The High "C's!"

(More like Middle C, since I'm more of an alto.)

I had two, count them, TWO singing gigs in July. This is a plentiful harvest as I have not sung this many in a month in years. I'm very grateful!

They were both for seniors. One was at a Retirement Home or Senior Living joint in Canton, Ohio. Whatever the P.C. thing is to say. A place where Seniors live in apartments. It's pretty swank. I did a gig there in March or April and ate dinner. The food was astonishingly good. I was stunned. Last Friday's gig was for the Akron South High Class of 1949. That doesn't seem that long ago, considering that my brother was born that year. I did a lot of research for that one. Musically and news-wise too. Found out some interesting stuff.

I've been working with this 70-something pianist, Leo. He's a good player, very musically learned (even though I think he was an engineer of some sort). He played piano during the Korean War for service clubs over there. He's kind of a fussy dude and doesn't have a terrific sense of humour but he's nice. His wife died last year. She was Force To Be Reckoned With. We met doing a Canteen style show for the benefit of the Humane Society ("Bow-Wow Boogie") last year. I'm glad I did it, I figured it would be for a really great cause and I might meet some nice people. I these gigs are the 5th and 6th I've done with Leo. It may be a few more.

Anyway....

The one for the Canton Seniors was fun and easy. I learned a couple of new tunes, no worries. It's nice to learn new tunes. They are a great crowd and they sing along with darn near every one. They are a very participatory and appreciative crowd.

Now I really think I have a pretty good working musical vocabulary. For Standards or what is now called euphemistically "The Great American Songbook." However, I discovered that while it's hard to stymie me with WW2 era tunes, my musical education seemed to skip from V-J Day to the mid-50s. I somehow missed 1946-1950. Leo took the research I'd given him on top tunes of 1946-49 and ran with it. Like a sprinter! When he presented his preliminary suggestions I d**n near fainted dead away. "Uh," I muttered to myself,"Ooooh-kkkkay. Yep, I'm screwed!" On his first list (about 40 songs, I knew --- really knew, like "I could sing them NOW" knew --- maybe five songs. I had heard OF most of the others but some were unknown to me. Panic set in.

As he honed down the list to about 20-25 songs, I still shuddered. I knew almost NONE of these tunes. I did more research, this time listening to his choices, which seemed to include WAY more Perry Como than I ever wanted to hear. (I'm not a fan. Perry Como always seems to be Sinatra or Tony Bennett on Valium. A lot of Valium.)

My personal issue was not with the music necessarily. Some of the songs he suggested were really nice, like MY FOOLISH HEART and I WISH I DIDN'T LOVE YOU SO (which he ended up cutting). Some were cute, like PERSONALITY, a really adorable Dinah Shore song that must make women libbers want to load their Uzis or SHOO FLY PIE (I had to look it up; it's a sugar pie). Some I dislike. RAG MOP comes to mind. Ugh. Stupid, stupid song. Leo's final list contained "15 Songs I Did Not Know." Crap. I really worry, albeit perhaps unnecessarily about MEMORISING stuff. It seems more challenging than ever. I was and am really scared of fowling the whole thing up, looked stupid, and getting "fired!" because I don't know the music. The really frightening part was not only did I NOT know the lyrics (often the case) but I didn't know the MELODIES either! Two weeks to learn this stuff. I had become complacent and this was unnerving me.

"Maybe I'm not as good as I think I am."

So I started listening to the stuff. Writing down the lyrics and making cards for each song. I haven't had to do this many songs in this short of a time in decades. I kid you not. Thank God for a cell phone that holds MP3s. Thank God for the darn technology! I could find the original song by the original artist and buy the tune on Amazon or Rhapsody.

One song was particularly tough and Marty, bless his heart, was absolutely NO help at all. It's called "It's Magic" and it was a gi-normous hit for Doris Day. However, Bugs Bunny also sang it! With other words. So while I'm trying to learn:

"You sigh, the sun begins/ You speak and I hear violins/ It's Magic," my darling husband is doing his best Bugs Bunny impression:

"Oh, carrots are divine/ You get a dozen for a dime/ It's Maaaaaaa-gick!"

Groovy. Thanks, Marts. Now I've got the d**n Bugs version in my head and it's not going away. We finally made a pact; he wouldn't do Bugs until after the gig was over. As soon as I had done the song (number two in the program --- Leo is big on Programs), I sang that stanza for the audience. At least it was out of my head. I had one Porky Pig moment (PERSONALITY), and had to use my cards for 2 songs but other than that, it went well. I just had to glance at the cards, not read word for word. One song ("To Each His Own") I dislike and my brain just does not want to memorise songs it hates. I hate "Rag Mop" too but I got through that one. The other one I heeded the words for was Choo-Choo-Ch'Boogie: it has more words than the Declaration of Independence! I love the song but it's hard. Both songs I just needed the cards for security purposes.

It's strange how songs get stuck in your head, isn't it? I just didn't need "Oh, carrots are divine," in mine. It's also strange this that gig shook me up. In some ways, my confidence is still shaken and stirred. And it ain't no James Bond Martini either.