You Know You're Still House-Training Your Puppy/Young/New-To-You Dog When:

Your older, beautifully house-trained dog thinks you've gone stark raving mad. She even rolls her eyes at you.
You can't wear any clothing that doesn't have pockets for poop bags. Every jacket, bathrobe has at least one.
Your head, eyes and ears hurt from listening, watching, waiting...Tylenol is your new drug of choice.
You may have whiplash from turning your head to check where the heck the dog is.
You wonder if you can have a flashlight surgically implanted into your forehead.
You had to buy expensive dog-safe Ice Melt so you don't fall on your a** every time you go out into the yard.
You've actually picked up a random poop with your bare hands so the dog doesn't get to it first and eat the damn thing.
Your hands are raw from washing them.
You get to sit down for about 10 minutes. Max. Unless he's napping.
Your dog toy budget has quintupled. Overnight.
You have some kind of treat/clicker stashed somewhere near your computer.
Since you don't have DVR or TiVo, your ancient VCR is getting a work-out or you've become a real fan of NetFlix or Hulu!
You are afraid to leave the room to go potty etc. without crating the dog first.