I Cannot Make This Stuff Up #473

I'm on the phone with my cell phone's carrier, getting some technical help. The VERY NICE customer service lady suggests a couple of things to do. While I'm waiting for my phone to come back on, I told her one of my favorite customer service tales, then I think about what she had just suggested as a help for me.

"Well, sh-t," say I very abashed, "That was six kinds of stupid, I should have done that BEFORE I called you guys. My husband is an IT guy, I should have known better! I feel like an idiot."

"Oh, NO!" she exclaims, "Not at all! Not even close!"

Really? thinks I. Do tell! Other than the monthly whine from some ding-dong of "my phone won't work...uh did you put the battery in it?" thing. And yes, they get those AT LEAST once a month.

Here is the customer's service rep's story. I kid you not and neither was she. You can't make this sh-t up. And of course, this is recorded somewhere because you know they record these things for Quality Assurance!

CSR (Customer Service Rep): Welcome to _____, how may I help you?

AH (A---h---e Irate Customer: I have an damn huge bill for a damn call that says it's international. (By the way, the bill for the call was under $10.)

CSR: OK, sir, let me pull up your bill.....yes, I see you called Blah-Blah, Ontario, Canada. That would be an international phone call.

AH: (getting really pissed off): That's in the goddamn U.S.

CSR: Uh, no sir, that's in Canada.

AH: Canada IS in the U.S. Any idiot knows Canada is part of the U.S.

CSR: Uh, no sir, Canada is a foreign country. Therefore you got charged for an international phone call.

AH: It's NOT a foreign country! You don't have to go in a plane. You can DRIVE there! Any idiot knows that Canada is part of the U.S.

They go back and forth, with much the same results, finally the CSR says:

Um, sir, if I go to California or Maine I don't have to have a passport. But if I go to CANADA I have to have a passport. That means Canada is a foreign country.

AH: (now really irate) well, you're an idiot! You need to go BACK to whatever the hell school you went to and take Geometry again because CANADA IS IN THE UNITED STATES.

CSR (putting him on hold for a moment, then): Uh, sir, I'm not sure what NUMBERS and ANGLES have to do with Canada being another country. Did you mean GEOGRAPHY?

AH: (SUPER IRATE) I know what I meant, I meant GEOMETRY and it just goes to show you how STUPID YOU REALLY ARE!

She transferred him to International Calling.

When she told me there would be a Customer Satisfaction Survey coming in my email, I asked if I should put in the part where I almost snorted coffee out of my nose because I was laughing so hard, she replied,"Well, if you want to!"