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Monday, January 16, 2012

MIdwives & All That Jazz

Pregnant ladies have a lot of nice choices these days. Have babies in the field, your bed, the bath-tub, birthing suite, hospital. Filmed or not, by yourself or with the whole damn family. You can circumcise or not, tattoo or pierce your kid. Boob, bottle, formula --- even a nursing partner. Shots, no shots. All natural or Gerber-generic food. Great. You have choices. Isn't that special? All that fussing for this emergent life-form.

What we really need are Menopause Wives. Someone to guide us through hot flashes, body betrayal, the lessening of desire, energy, day/weeks/months of no sleep. Bio-identical or synthetic hormones, bone loss, exercise, getting fatter even when you're a friggin' marathoner, being undesired, overlooked, left behind, dismissed. Where is our caring Wife who helps us through this trying time in our live? It's not as much fun as bringing in new life.

And where is the Caretaker Wife, or the Screwed UP Family Member's Fallout Wife? The person with the illness --- their family members and friends bust their nuts, rearrange schedules, put their lives on hold, worry, hope, resign, bargain. Everybody is praying for the ill person. But what about a little relief for the family members? Nobody cares really for the caretakers.

And the addict/alcoholic/perpetual screw-up kid or grown-up? They can get prayer groups, 12 step groups, etc. a-plenty pulling from them. While they get sober or get their heads screwed on, everyone is cheering them on, patting them on the back, helping them move forward, But what about the family mess left behind or left inside the mess? It seems we are forgotten. We can go to Al-Anon and yes, it does help. But we get no pats on the head at all. We don't get any 1 year coins for coming week after week. Oftentimes we're blamed for the addiction or screw-up. Where is our Midwife?

I guess it's one of the perks of pregnancy. And it's nice the pregnant ladies can have so many choices.

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