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Sunday, September 13, 2009

It's Just Not Plain Ol' "Douche"

I posted this as a comment to a great Blog.....
Actually, to be technically is Douche BAG!! Please, the Bag must be added.

A douche is something you either give yourself or something you get by going down a big water slide! It can be a rather nice experience.

In the Olden Days, your grandmother's Douche bag was a cross between a hot water bottle and a garden hose. It actually WAS, come to think of it. It would sit hooked on the top of your shower head or rod with this incredibly long hose and gravity did it's thing. Thus the term: Douche Bag.

By the time I had entered the mystical world of feminine hygenie, the Douche bag looked suspisciously like a well-insulated ice bag with a very rigid tampon topper. You laid down (perferably in the bath tub) and squoze the damn thing! Thus the term: Mini Douche Bag.

In order to be a MDB, you were pretty annoying or, if you were male, you never called after the first date. But to earn the title Douche Bag, you had to be something truly reprehensible! If you were male, you never called after one-night sex. This is a real douche bag.

So, in this case, there have been no fun, screaminng-meamie water slides, chilled mountain stream sitting (Mother Nature's Douche) or even a bidet (preferably in France. She behaved like a real First Class, Uber-Ultimate Douche Bag. The Bag or Bags, baby!

© 2009 Mia K-H

1 comment:

  1. I'm really trying to get the vision of grandmother and her douche bag out of my head... happy place...