Gotcha!

Teen-agers on stunt bikes outside the library, noting my rear view mirror.
"I should have one of those."
Me: It's a great idea.
Teen: Yeah, that way I could see the cops. (Proudly) I got pulled over for speeding. I was going 35 and so was the cop.
Me: That's pretty fast, especially when the speed limit is 25.
Teen: How fast can YOU go? (Nyah-nyah tone of voice).
Me: I guess my average is about 10-13 MPH
Teen (giving me "The Pathetic Old Person" look.) THAT'S not very fast.
Me: No, not in comparison to 35, it's not.
Teens give me The Smirk.
Me: Of course, I just did that average on a 25 mile ride Tuesday....
Teens: (gulping in disbelief) Uh, really?
Me: Yep, and my husband's average is about 16 MPH on a 50-100 mile ride.
Pause.
Me: Kid, if you can do 35 on big hills for 100 hundred miles, you should be in the Tour De France.
Pause.
Teens are deadly quiet.
Gotcha, you little bastards!

Artie's Day July 5, 2013

Artie: I had a huge day yesterday. I'm still exhausted!

My Auntie Gayle took us to the shelter yesterday where I was adopted from. I don't remember being there. I was there only a day maybe and then I went to live with Momma Jen, the Rotten-weilers and Uncle Shay the collie.  Then I went Mom and Dad's house. 

Anyway!!

There is a doggie day care there, so Mom to me there to have play time while she messed about with shelter dogs. She had lots of smells on her when she picked me up. The place is called Hattie Larlham (In Twinsburg, OH) and employs people with mental disabilities. But I don't care!  

The head guy told me and Auntie that I did really well and they said, "He can come back ANY time!" Mom was really happy, because as a Cattledog Mom she hasn't heard this a lot cuz it doesn't happen all the time. The Others who came before me could be real bossy with other dogs. Some of us cattledogs are pretty bossy!

Then we went to my cousins' house Oreo, McKinley and I hung out there for a couple of hours.

Waiting for Uncle Ray to come home.....I don't need to lay on no stinkin' towel!

Kinners really likes his butt scratched!

I play with Oreo and then I play with McKinley!  This is how it goes when I am there.....

Then we all went (along with other doggie friend, Dudley) for a very hot, humid, muddy, slippery long walk (6-8 miles) through the woods. Up and down hills, lots of roots and rocks and slippery stuff, through streams and mud.  I don't care because I'm a dog!  I like the water part. I was a little worried at the pond where the Bad Thing happened but I went in and out with Kinners so eventually it was ok. 

I think Dudley got stung by a skeeter; there were a lot of skeeters. All the humans were sweating a lot.  Dudley won't go into the water like Oreo, Kinners and I do.  He doesn't like it but that's ok!  Oreo dips himself, it's funny!  I know Mom was really tired but it's GOOD for her.  We went back to O&M's house and I got a BATH!!!!!!  Eeeeuuuuu! 

(Yawn...) Ya know.....I...think...I might....be....a little....bit......Zzzzzzzzzzz.......

Mom: Can you believe it, I think he's STILL tired!

Artie getting some loving from Honorary Mom, Auntie Gayle.

I truly hope his sweet, goofy, social nature continues as he matures. I really love his temperament!

When you adopt a dog, even one as young as he was (3.5-5 months), It's a crap-shoot. You have no idea where he came from. How he was raised. A lot of it IS nurture (I think) but nature is definitely in there. I'm thrilled beyond measure at what a nice boy he is and I think we've "done right" by him as owners/trainers. He does get the occasional verbal "Hey!" and "What the he-- are you doing?" and "Knock it off!" but all the rest of his training has been "all positive." Praise, clickers, treats, tug/fetch rewards, luring, shaping etc.

He'll be 2 in September.

Classes and Training Help: L'Chaim Canine.

Biker Chick?

It suddenly dawned on me that with the "do rag" on my head and all the bodywork....I kind of have the "white-lady-of-a-certain-age-gangsta" thing going.  LOL!

First Bike Event For A Cause

Well, now that's done!!  First Ride For a Cause done!
Thanks to Megan for my beautiful artwork. I got so many comments and compliments!
I have to thank everyone who generous donated monies to my ride and those people who sent me prayers and energies.  I felt Mom, Aunt Nan and Gammie kicking me in the butt.  On angel's wings.  (More like an angel's foot, LOL)!
I was worried about getting lost in one part that I was very unfamiliar with but instead, I went past the Finish line.  (I have a weird tendency to do this....I don't know why!)
The course was VERY well marked, even for Directionally Challenged people like me. If you have some legs for little (or big) hills, I'd recommend this ride if you want to ride for a cause (in this case, diabetes).  It's very well run, lots of volunteers etc.  There were a LOT of Red Riders (folks with diabetes) riding.
The first 2 miles was interesting.  Careening down streets with 200 of your closest friends.  Having to make a sharp left hand turn and immediately go up a small hill with about 150 of them makes for very hairy moments.
Met two really nice ladies, Damita (I believe is how she spelled it) who did her longest distance EVER and Gretchen, both younger than me.
I'm really grateful to my Spousal Unit for having taken me on most of the course over the last year.  Just riding it with him has been invaluable. I know the B&H parts pretty well and could advise people as to what to expect in places.
I almost bought gravel coming off the uphill behind Stow High School; there is a pretty sharp turn and I wasn't as well prepared for it as I might have been.
I also have to thank The SU for giving me Sheree (Scheherazade) The Bike and for the nice folks at Falls Wheel and Wrench (the whole gang) who maintain all of our bikes and put up with my endless, often stupid questions.
I have to say going up that hill in Silver Lake before you get to Graham Rd. (about mile 20) was a total B*TCH!  I thought I was going to pass out!
I'm home safe and very proud of myself actually.
Distance: 26.39 miles.  Time: 2:21:40.  Average speed 11.1 MPH.

Today's Adventure & Five Crazy Words

I decided to try this "take your bike on the bus" thing today. It's really the only way I can get to the towpath without a car.  Akron Metro has a video on their website which I watched about 5 times.  I figured if it was really stupid, I wouldn't do it.

There are a couple of reasons I wanted to go on the towpath.  For starters, it has rained the last few days and if I went on the Bike And Hike through Silver Lake and Munroe Falls, I'd have to bike THROUGH a lake as there are a few areas that flood like hell. I'm not that fabulous of a cyclist to get everything soaking wet including my shoes.

And sometimes I get tired of riding on the Bike and Hike, even though it's a total blessing that we have it!!  We actually are rather blessed around here; there are tons of places to bike and walk and hike.  We have the Metroparks and the Cuyahoga Valley National Park (thank you, Bob Hunker).  Granted the CVNP can be a total nut house, especially on the weekends.  Parts of it (mostly between Szalay's and Boston) is like the Oklahoma Land Rush.  It's crazy town and you have to actually be very careful, especially the Peninsula to Boston leg. If I were truly an extremely brave little toaster, I'd bike on the road for that leg BUT I am not that brave.  I get freaked out riding in a CAR!

I get to the bus stop which is about 3/4 of a mile from my house.  It took a bit of jerry-rigging to get the bike on the bus bike rack but I managed.  I'm carrying my helmet, bike bag and water and trying to get on the bus as fast as I can.  Yikes, sometimes getting stuff out of pockets is a pain!

About a mile into the bus trip, a guy with a white cowboy hat puts his bike on the front of the bus and gets onto the bus announcing, in a loud voice for all the world to hear that our local bike shop sucks!!  Bad service, etc. He's rambling on about something having to do with a debit card and phone number.  He keeps on yakking and I'm wishing I had headphones on.

I'm thinking, "Ah, the joys of public transport! God, is the rest of the day going to be this weird??  Sh*t! And who in the hell in Northeast Ohio where's a white cowboy hat while riding a bike?  OK, maybe in TEXAS, but here???"

After several of his victims had disembarked the bus, he says to me, "You're a cyclist, I can tell."  (I guess the helmet and bike bag were a give-away, huh?)  I do my best Polite Nod.  The Queenly one.  The "yes I acknowledge you because it would be rude to not do so but really my tea is getting cold and this is my way of politely blowing you off because I wish you'd shut the  f--- up about my bike shop" nod.

He rallies on, "Can you imagine such sh*tty customer service?  Has that ever happened to you?  Come on, it's happened to you! What do you do about sh*t like that, huh?"

I then utter five words I never thought would ever come out of my mouth:

I choose not to comment.

Holy crap, what did I just do?  Did I have an out-of-body experience?  Channel my inner Queen Mum?  Suddenly become my sister or brother who are MUCH more tactful that I am? Decide the diplomatic corps is going to be my next career?

Have I really been watching way too many episodes of THE WEST WING?

Who the hell said that and what did they do with me?  Since I've turned 50, I'm rarely reluctant to get into a verbal duke-it-up especially when someone is dissing a friend, a policy I believe in or a place I really like and  have patronized for years.  Truly, I had an out of body experience because I would normally have said nothing and hope that the bus would absorb me.

I will say this for this extraordinarily rare moment of tact. It shut him up.  Damn. He went on to bother some young lady who was on her way to a 12 step thing.

When the bus arrived in downtown Akron, I managed to get my bike off the front of the bus and walk over to Lock 3, a public area in Akron where they have festivities etc.  I managed to get lost pretty quickly (no surprise) but with the help of two nice guys and after walking my bike up a huge flight of stairs, I see the bike bridge over the inner-belt. Phew!  OK, I have a pretty good idea of where I'm going!  Down a great big twisting hill!  Wheeee!!!!

I wend my way down the towpath from Mustill Store to Botzum Trail Head.  The only part that got really dicey was (alas) around the sewage plant. The trail became bumpy and slippery.  I've been trying to use all my gears on this new bike and I must have heard or read somewhere that being in a low gear (what I'd call low, which is probably wrong) gives you stability and I needed it. Badly!

When I stopped at Botzum (pictured above) I toyed with going a bit further but wisely decided to turn around.  One mile (after 2 slight rest stops) before I got back to Mustill Store, I met up with 2 nice ladies and walked back with them, chatting.  Hermione and Florence.  Ageless women of color. (What is it with black folks?  Those ladies were anywhere from 35 to 70 and you can't tell!)

Now I figured there might be a bus stop near here. I could have sworn I saw the parking lot for Mustill go by.  I start walking looking for a bus stop sign. I've turned off my RunKeeper app and taken the odometer off my bike.

And I'm still walking. Things look familar but....

 And I walk up this HUGE hill.  I get to the top.  I don't know how to get there from here.  I'm not so much lost as disoriented.

"Well, this is stupid.  I'll just go back and go over to Lock 3." Yes, after I go around several deceptive corners over lovely streams and water falls only to discover I have to ride up two hills with a 5% grade.  The same ones I went merrily down.  The bike performed well but my legs and arms and hands and a** were screaming!!  I finally get near Lock 3 and take a lovely detour (and it is lovely) ending up going past Akron General Hospital.  I KNOW I'm not in the right place but it was interesting nonetheless.

Finally I struggle up the hill at Lock 3 and finally I find a bus stop on Main Street.  I finally get my bike on the proper bus to head home and finally sit down in the air conditioning, which almost made my tummy go nuts. I get off by the aforementioned bike shop so I can ask them a question or two and rest for a few minutes.

I ride home, decided to clean my bike as it was crusted with dirt, dust, mud, sand.
Before I had flipped it, I looked at my odometer:
2+ hours
20.5 miles
8.8 average MPH
Highest speed 18 MPH

Then I flipped my bike over and erased my odometer.  Well, sh*t.

I am sore but I'm glad I did it.

That's A First!

Life time first: I'm very excited. Mile 6 0r 7 on bike ride, I come around a corner up a slight hill (so I was going pretty slow) and there is a huge buck with a full rack about 8-10 feet away from me. I slam on my brakes because we were so close we might have collided. There was about and five or ten second pause and then he turned and went back into the woods. Holy Crap-mobile! I was so stoked. Kept walking up the hill, shaking my head. Wow! I've never seen one, ever,, except once in great while driving quickly by. Not a buck and certainly not that close. Far out! Glad we did NOT hit, because I would have lost that encounter for sure! I can wipe that one off my bucket list. (I did 18.01 miles, which is really, really good for me.

Frustration

(Banging my head against the wall....)

How can 3 damn sore fingers and a sore damn shoulder tire me out so much?  Physical Therapy equals frustration. More damn tests and joy, of joys a MRI this Thursday. This week is filled with PT and damn doctors.  The sinus surgeon guy is Wednesday (about damn time) and they'll probably find of sh*t loads of nothing.  Which actually is way better than Something.  Or worse, Something Awful.

Last weekend's (April 30th-May 2nd) Depression was finding out I never got registered for the Cleveland Marathon.  Bugger, bugger, bugger, f-word, f-word, f-word me with a f-word chicken.....Cried with anger and frustartion.  Goes to show: never try to cheap it out.  Just pay your damn entry fee and screw raising money for ACS.

You got to love Brothers. "Want my advice?" Yes. "How many more hints do you need that maybe you're not supposed to do it this year?  There are plenty of other races out there...."  OK, fine.  But tell me how you get over the Failure Factor?  I know I need to move to stay fit and I'm haven't been.  Walking is hard.  WALKING, for God's sake. I'm just so pooped.  Pain is tiring.  Come on, it's just pain, aching crap. WTH.  Apparently it can be tiring.

Marty (another Male Relative) says it's my body healing.  Well, I wish it would hurry the h--ll up.

Good news: the mobility is better in the fingers.  I can almost type with all fingers, so that's great.  Tons of mistakes, many of which really need to be on damnyouautocorrect.  :-)

 And I've had 3 paying gigs in the last 2 weeks, that is awesome!!!  One very unexpected; a puppet show with J. V.  I have to admit we're a pretty good team.  He can serve them as hard as he wants but I will almost always be ready for a good volley back and forth. And I know that the puppets (him really) are the deserved stars. The play seems to be going well; a lot of talented folks are working on this show. Nice to be back on the boards.  I've been doing a lot of presentations for the Humane Society too, interesting.  Lots of little Girl Scouts. My demo puppy, Tucker, got adopted.  I'm going to miss that little guy, loved him. I hope he got a great home.

And the sun is finally SHINING.  About d---n time.  So, yes, there are parts of life that are very good. I heard recently any day you wake up is a good day.  So they are all good!  And yet, I'm frustrated that I have to basically start over from almost Square One, physically. Part of me is wallowing, the other part is saying Get. Over. Yourself.

It's Not A Race, It's An Adventure

The Akron Marathon was last Saturday (Sept. 25th). it was my 6th Half-Marathon. 13.1 miles. My time (less potty breaks and getting water from a nice lady in Firestone Park) was under 4 hours. Hey, I walk, right?

The Gods work in mysterious ways. If I had NOT met Chris from Louisville, KY, I would have gotten seriously lost and probably ended up in North Canton! and he would have probably been hopelessly lost as he had no phone and no map.

The coolest part of the race was the end: walking down Main street, hearing people calling my name (it was on my bib and damn, they could read it) coming into the Akron Aeros Baseball Stadium, cheering crowds, hearing the announcer saying names (I heard mine) and the whole nine yards. That WAS pretty darn cool!

It is the absolutely crappiest race if you are not a serious runner or a true speed walker. (Like the 12-minute folks). After Mile 4, there were no more water stations, hence the blessing of the Water Goddess in Firestone Park. After Mile 6 or 8, the Port-a-Potties were locked. NO promised Gu at Mile 10. So, thank God a Circle K was on the route! And the U. of Arkon library john was open! And I had had the foresight to bring my own Gu.

What pissed me off was they advertised the time limit for the Half was 4 hours. Obviously that doesn't mean you get 4 hours of support. Grrr!

I had slowed down considerably at about Mile 2 (near St. Thomas Hospital) because of a relay runner that was in serious trouble. Poor girl and I wasn't going to leave her in the lurch. After Mile 4, I hooked up with Chris, who normally runs (and owns/runs a Running Store in Louisville). He had a torn meniscus and couldn't run. We had a great time and he was super to me. I do believe the Universe put us together and I owe him big time. I helped him too, from there were places where the Blue Line disappeared. Like when you got near the U. of Akron and the Towpath. I had my phone and called Marty about 4 times.

We really could have cut off 3-5 miles of the course and still finished in the stadium. Who was looking? But, nope, we both decided to do the whole course, as posted. No cheating, sorely tempted though I seriously was! (I confess, Reverend Mother!)

The weather was perfect, (another good thing) and talking with Chris about practically everything under the sun, made the miles go a lot better.

You cannot call it a race, honestly. It was much more like one of map-finding thingies (you know, that's actually a REAL sport) or a bike event. I highly doubt I would EVER do the Akron again. Except that ending. That might, might make it worth doing again!

I really earned that damn medal and shirt. Every G. D. blasted mile!

So You Wanna Walk, eh?

Ah, yes,

Mia and Her Opinions. Like one's backside, everybody has one. Especially me.

I read a post on active.com about a person (I think it was a woman) who wanted advice for getting ready to do the Cancer 3 Day.

Trying to find Walking advice is like trying to find an honest politician. Almost impossible.

Here is what I wrote:
---------------------

First of all, you CAN do this. I'm a 55year old girl and I am here to tell you...yes, you can!

I wanted to do the 3 day for years but it's the fund raising part. I think they should pay US to walk 3 days!

Here's my take on Walking.
And, (disclosure here), I am NOT a health professional or a Health Nut!

I had been diagnosed with fibro in December 2005 and totally oinked out, feeling sorry for myself. A health crisis led me to rethink the extra weight. "This is stupid, I've never been overweight! I'm going to kill myself here!"

I started walking slowly in August 2006 and really began in January 2007. I had set as a goal for myself --- a 10K race (May 2007 Cleveland Marathon). I was 50 pounds overweight. I conned my brother into doing it with me. I figured if I crashed, he'd be there to help me! I started walking around our block (1/2 mile) then kept going. I did that race (as a walker) in a really respectable time too. By race time, I had lost 40 pounds. (I've since lost 60).

What worked for me was "hard" days then off days. I think you have to get out there EVERY DAY, even if it's for a half an hour stroll. On the hard days, I pushed hard or went for distance. You'll know if it's hard -- you can't talk. I also was encouraged to cross-train by biking and yeah, they (my brother and husband, the b*****ds --- my add-ons here) are right about that. So I have Walking Days and Biking days. When i was starting (or when I have to restart), I add a mile every week.

So you start with say, one mile every other day, then next week, 2 miles and so on. In 3 months, you are basically doing a half-marathon! I do that big distance once a week; the rest I do between 3 and 8 miles every other day. If you are ONLY walking and not cross-training, on your "off" days, you'll do half of your "on" day distance and walk it easy. You get one day off for rest but I don't really recommend even that. You have to move, even a bit.

Remember to breath!! I like breathing in through my nose where I can feel my nostrils flaring and out through my mouth.

Don't forget to do your leg stretches afterwards, especially on your Hard days!!

Make sure you're getting enough potassium and magnesium; this keeps you from getting leg cramps. If I have a small glass of real orange juice with a bit of wate in the morning, it really helps. So do bananas (which is why they have them for you after races!)

I also think yoga and/or Pilates or Core Training is very helpful. It helps with your breathing and core strength, which actually improved my times!

If you are a female over 40, you really have to get out there at least 5 days week, where you are pushing more. I know, it isn't fair but I have noticed when I slack off, I feel worse and I start that tubby thing around my middle and my fibro will act up.

I also highly recommend keeping a daily food and exercise journal. I use a piece of paper that i keep in my kitchen. It has date, time, what I ate (even snacks) and what exerciese I did. And yes, I track (with a pedometer) hard housework! (Up and down stairs). I did watch what I ate by eating smaller meals, eating slower and more often. I cut back severely on simple carbs and upped my protein.

You do have to listen to your body, but don't let it say, "I caaaan't do that! Waaah!" So much of this is truly mental. I sometimes chant to myself (like The Little Engine That Could): "I know I can! I know I can!"I have days when I do not want to go out but I know if I do, I'll feel better in my soul. My body may curse me but I actually feel better there too!

Pedometers can be helpful but for "real" distance, drive it in a car and get exact distances. A pedometer is accurate to within 2/10-4/10s of a mile. Don't try to set your stride on the silly things; it's a waste of your time. Figure out several courses and go!

I would also suggest that you get your feet checked by a foot doc to make sure you don't have some weirdness with your feet. Good shoes, fitted correctly are a must and learning how to tape your own toes/feet is really helpful. Do NOT get "walking" shoes, believe it or not. The support is not there for distance walking. And go to a store that caters to runners; not one of the big chains. They do not have the expertise to fit you correctly. If you walk daily a lot, replace your shoes every 6 months or buy two pairs that work and rotate them every other day. Definitely pitch them after a year. Mine go after 6 months. I use them for biking but they still go for after a year.

I truly hate treadmills but will go on them if necessary. However, if you do do a treadmill, do not read on it --- you are not working --- trust me. I like roadwork and hiking, although I do take it easier on a hike as I am more conscious of my footing. I do recommend that you do outside walking or even on a track. I walk in the winter as long as the roads are clear (I live in a city). If you are walking briskly, you don't need to dress up like Nanook of the North.

Make sure you can sweat, especially getting air on your upper chest. For some reason, that's where I over-heat! If you stop sweating, you need ot be hydrated immediately! I can't stress the hydration thing enough. I've had it happen once and it was awful. If you live in a really hot area (like AZ) go at night when it's cool.

I also strongly recommend getting a Road ID; they have a website. That way, you have ID on you. Also make sure you carry water or Gatorade if you are going out more than say a mile or if it's hot or dry where you live. You have to stay hydrated. It's a pain, I know. They make little hand-held bottles that strap onto your hand and those are spiffy!

Wear reflective gear; think like a cyclist.

Blisters: When you feel one coming on, soak your feet for 30-60 minutes with Epsom salts and put really good moisturizer or conditioning oil on your feet, Rub it in and put cotton sox on for the night. Repeat daily and you should be able to walk again (if they are bad) in a day. Start gently.

I also (as has been mentioned) listen to music. I find it very motivating and you can get into a rhythm easier, IMO. Keep the volume pretty low so you can hear cars. I love my Clip; it's small!

I set a goal to do a half-marathon as a walker and did the Cleveland 2008 Half and the Octocber 2008 Towpath Half. I just kept going and felt so exilherated when I (barely) crossed the finish line the first time. This year (2009), I've done 5Ks, 10Ks, a 10 mile benefit hike with my dog (not walker friendly, BTW), and the Cleveland Half....all as a Walker.

If you plan to enter a race and I truly encourage you to do so, pick ones that are Walker friendly, especially the big distances (10Ks, Halfs and Fulls). Many SAY Walk/Run but they aren't really. There is still a lot of prejudice and snobbery regarding Walking and I've had runners during races yell at me to get out of the way.

Talk to a race official if you can on the phone. Find out what the time limit is! Longer races that I know of that are really Walking friendly are: Cleveland, Columbus (OH), Dallas White Rock, that one in Alaska (Midnight Sun, I think) and the Mardi Gras in New Orleans. The Mouse (Disney) is supposed to be really nice as well.

Professional Walkers and really active Marathon Walkers says that Columbus Ohio is THE BEST first marathon to be in. To get a medal for finishing is so cool! I felt like an Olympian!
Do a local 1 mile, 3K or 5K. There are tons all year round and you can find them on this website. You will feel such a sense of accomplishment! I know of Marathon Walkers who are over 65 and some that are disabled AND over 65 who still compete. So, yes, this is doable.

As for the 3 Day
Take Your Time. It is, by all accounts, very, very well-supported and you can take all day to do that 20 miles. I know of people who have not walked beyond a few miles who have done it and survived!

Good luck! Keep us posted. Walkers Rock!
Mia
(who WILL do a marathon!)

Labor Day

While I'm waiting for my darling husband to do something with sone butt-head computer that he has been fussing with for what seems YEARS, I thought I'd drop a note.

Yesterday I went for a hike through the Cuyahoga Valley National Park with one of my dogs. Winger always has been a good hiking dog; stays right with you. He's a lot slower nowadays, being ten and all. But it was sylvan and peaceful and relaxing. Just to take the time. It is one of my truly favorite things to do, hike with a good dog. I have to work with the puppy, Elke, a lot more but i think she'll end up being a good hiking dog.

It's one of my joys and therefore makes me a bit prejudiced about breed types. I love the herding breeds because their tendency is to stick near you.

Well, I think we're going biking now! Goody. Fresh air. Got to get some!