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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Another Elke Blog

(With interjections from Artie)

The other day Momma Jen from L'Chaim Canine came over again. We call her Momma Jen because she was the Brat Boy's foster momma. But my paws get tired of typing all those letters. so I will call her Jen. That's her name. I love her. I am happy to see her.

You're a big old suck up. You do the pitiful eye thing, it's soooooo gross.

Go chew on a bone, BB......

Our Mom wanted Jen to come over because somebody (and it's not me) has a problem with the cats. Jen helps people with their dogs, she was our teacher for my Special Day. She also has a lot of helpful things to say and things to do about cats. Mom also wanted her to help adjust our new Freedom Harnesses. BB's is green and mine is "raspberry."


Now, I have to tell you some stuff about Mom and Dad. I love them with all my heart but they're kind of, oh there's a big word for it... ambivalent (aren't your impressed) about clicker training. Mom likes to give us treats and reward us for good stuff, but she not real confident about this whole clicker thing. She feels like a klutz. Dad is a dad, he loves us but he wants us to get it fast. Whatever "it" is. And he doesn't do The Excited Voice like Mom. He's a guy's guy.

Mom's been reading books and watching videos on YouTube like Kikopup, whoever she is and asking questions about this clicker stuff, even though I've known what a clicker was since I came here so long ago. Mom taught me sit, down, "bang" and how to pick up stuff with a clicker.

Hey, I know when I see and hear the clicker I KNOW that we're going to get treats! I get so excited---

Yeah, you're like STUPID excited~ it's like your butt's on fire---

Shut up, Brat Boy! You're such a little turd.

(Takes one to know one....)


ANY way, where was I? Oh, yes. Clicker stuff. I am ok with the cats but he isn't.

Hey, those damn things MOVE and do weird stuff. I don't get them. They smell funny, they move funny! I want them to STOP doing what they're doing. They're not dogs. I don't understand them. I can't read them. Even humans are way easier than those damn things. What the hell da'ya expect?

Some decorum would be nice.

Mom and Jen talked a lot about the cats and did clicker stuff with the BB. I didn't like the fact that I didn't get treats----

Boo-flippin'-hoo! :P

Every day since Jen came here, Mom has been clicking when you----

We, sistah, WE---

Ok, I'll give you that.

Anyway, when WE get riled up when WE hear the cats. Mom doesn't quite get the reasoning behind it but she doesn't yell at us. she might talk to us but she tries not yell at us. She c/t's us and throws treats on the floor for us to get. WE do stop after a while.

Now Mom got us these fancy-schmancy harness but I don't want anything to do with mine. I don't know why....I just don't like harnesses. But Mom said,

"I spent all this money on these fancy-schmancy'll have to get used to it."

(Actually she said I had to get over myself.)

Yeah, really! Get over yourself----

----Oh, really? And you are exactly HOW about the cats?

(Paying intense attention to my bone now...ignoring you....)

Yesterday and the day before, she put BB into his harness and played ball with him. She showed me mine and I jumped up on the sofa. NO way!

Such a chicken sh-----

That will do. So Mom put the BB outside and she put the harness on the floor and got the clicker out. She threw a couple of treats around it and I ate them. Then when I sniffed at the harness, she c/t'ed me. When I touched it with my nose or my paw, she c/t'ed me. Hmmm...maybe it's not so bad.

Ooooh, she picked it up! It's SCARY----

See what I mean, you are SUCH a little chicken sh-----

----You know what? I'm gonna drag you around by your collar and see how you like it.

.....Mom put her hand through the neck part with a treat. I kind of stuck my nose into the loopy part and ate the treat. She was used her Excited Voice, "Yes! Good girl!" I did that a couple of times and then Mom hung the harness up and let me outside.

Today, she did the same thing this morning. I was scared at first but I really like those smelly treats she was giving me. They smell like Dad's summer sausage. First the harness was on the floor and then over her wrist, the treats were in her hand. After a couple of times of me putting my nose inside the loopy part, she said, "All done!" and let me outside.

She put BB's harness on and we were outside while Mom took pictures of the BB playing ball. So stupid, that whole ball thing. Who wants to chase a stupid ball?

I LIKE Ball!!! It's fun!!!

Goes to show how stupid you really are.

Then we came in and she took his harness off and put him in his crate with a STUFFED BONE. Why the heck don't I get that? Oh, wait....Mom has treats! But, she has the harness thing again! But she DOES have treats. Oh, my goD, I don't know what to do...treats, harness, treats.....I'm so anxious!

She did get me to touch the harness, then put my nose through the loopy thing then she got the horrible loopy thing to rest on my neck! eeeeuuuu, gross-gross-gross!! She gave me lots of treats and used The Excited Voice. She took it off of me, eeeeuuuu, phew, thank goD----

Gawd, seriously, you are such a pansy----

----then she dropped it on the ground again. C/T.

...then she got my nose through the loopy thing.....

....then it was on my neck and I got a whole bunch of treats, tons!

Then she clipped one side of the harness on me, lots of treats and The Excited Voice stuff. then she clipped the other side on and gave me more treats!!!

We all went outside. I still wasn't sure about that harness-thing on me but she gave me lots of treats even though SOMEBODY kept getting in my way.

Hey, it was food, dude!

Mom took some pictures and kept giving me treats.

So maybe, just maybe it isn't too bad. The harness thing. Maybe.

So maybe Mom is getting the knack of this clicker thing. Maybe.

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