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Thursday, April 5, 2012

Rant No. 347: Modern Grammar For Yo' Peeps

I will put on my snotty, little Miss Debutante crown here. I make absolutely no apologies either. I also make no apologies for my writing style either.

Caution: Big Word Alert!

Since I am extremely well-educated and well-traveled, have lived abroad and am fairly adroit in 3 other languages other than English, I'm entitled. Since I have been drilled and grilled from an very young age on proper manners and etiquette, I am entitled.

Since I am a published author (online and in print) of various articles, I'm entitled. Since I come from a family (on BOTH sides) who are published authors of newspaper columns, articles and books for over 75 years, I'm entitled. Since I have read, edited and critiqued submitted book excerpts for a New York publishing house, I'm entitled.

Since I have testified before the Ohio State Judiciary Committee speaking words that I wrote, I'm entitled. My written words are now part of the record and helped to get a law enacted.

Since I have been in theater (in all aspects) for over 40 years (amateur and professional) and have been a Master of Ceremonies for a wide variety of events nation-wide, I'm entitled.

Since I am far more verbally erudite and eloquent than most people and I use "big" words far more often than most ever will in my everyday conversation, I'm entitled. I even know what the "big" words mean. I can (and often do) speak and write correctly and beautifully.

And because, damnit, I'm over 50, I'm entitled.

Therefore, if I want to use the slang, "Peeps" for "People" on Facebook, Twitter and text messages occasionally, by God, I've earned it.

Is it proper? Of course it isn't, you dunderheads, you cloddish dolts! However, language is fluid, ever-moving, changing. Oh, for your information, "Can't" and "Don't"used to be considered conjunctive slang; highly improper and very low class. Thank you very much.

"Peeps?" It is a written colloquialism, for God's sake. Oh, my! Big Word Alert again!

Yo' mother! Bouya!

(There may be a few typographical errors, which I will apologize for.)

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