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Sunday, July 18, 2010

The Training of The Humans

By Rufus The Magnificent
So, I thought I would let you know about the training of the Dad-Human, Marty. (I have Mom trained pretty well.)

Being a Male Human, he is not always as quick to respond as Female Humans. I must exert myself and meow plaintively. I guide him down the stairs, stopping to meow loudly. Is my bowl properly full? Yes. Do I have water? Yes. However, I have decided that I like Science Diet Savory Seafood. Not that grocery store crap. But some food that yes, my humans must go out of their way to obtain for me. It is only right and fitting.

Last night, after plaintive and piteous meowing, I got the Dad Human to play with me. After he had exercised me, I deigned to lay at his feet, in my Meatloaf position. He must know what a privilege this is.

Why do humans call us Meatloaves With Ears? Most undignified. Almost as bad as "The Doughnut" or "Croissant!"

Tonight however, having decided that I like the wet food Mom-Human gets me in the morning (after she has performing the Royal Scooping) I thought that I deserved (of course) some more wet food.

"Yes, Dad-Human, that is nice that you filled my dry food bowl, but no. Yes, it is nice that you freshened my water but no! Meeeee-rrrrr-ooow! (Louder) Meeeeee-OOOW! Ah, he has brought me a bit of my wet food. Later the exercise portion of the evening will commence."

This is the latest installment of How To Train Your Humans by Rufus the Magnificent.

Come visit me soon and see how well I'm doing with my Human Training. I would LOVE to have you worship, er, uh, Visit me soon.

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