Stuck In My Head

Did you ever get a song stuck in your head and try as you might, you could NOT get that sucker out? Pretty terrible and rather annoying, right? Now, multiply that by ten or more and you have "I'm Called Little Buttercup."

(“Gaaaaacckkkk!” Picture a cat hoarfing up a hair ball.  You get the picture.)

Let me preface this by admitting that I am NOT a G&S fan. (Gilbert and Sullivan, to the less initiated). The only play of theirs I like is “The Mikado,” and only once every twenty years. Yes, I understand their importance is the history of operetta/the beginning of musical theater. But I also understand Wagnar's place in opera too. It doesn't mean I like Wagnar unless Elmer Fudd is singing "Kill Da Wabbit" or, "Oh Bwunhilde, you're so wove-wy."

I digress.

Of all the antiquated stuff that G&S ever wrote, "I'm Called Little Buttercup" has to be my absolute LEAST favorite. I detest it. Having to sing/record it at the behest of an old friend, even in the Mrs. Miller-esque vein, really got my musical goat. Rather like a 19^th century “Achy Breaky Heart.”  Primarily because it ain’t anywhere NEAR any key that I normally sing in. I’m an alto for those of you who haven’t heard me sing.  Ergo, what is a embarrassing vocal struggle becomes parody.

And as it turns out, after three hours of trying to record the damn thing (another aggravating, tear-inducing story entirely), it's probably not “good” enough. Most likely because, of course, the director of said play (where this is background music) wants it live.  Backstage, singing it live. Unpaid. Of course. The woman who was supposed to do this got sick.  I am sorry if she isn’t well enough to do this for however many weekends this play goes up, of course.  I hope it’s nothing serious, poor lady. But to my mind, singing this for free would MAKE me sick.

Thanks for nothing. Except for getting it stuck in my head. Stuck so badly that it echoed during my gig last night where I WAS getting paid to be on my game.

Although, to be fair, in a comic vein it just SCREAMS parody. It cries out for parody. It begs for it.

"I've snuff and tabacky and excellent jacky" just calls for "I'll give you a smacky and wacky tabacky," doesn't it?

"And excellent peppermint drops" begs for, "And excellent peppermint schnapps."  Perhaps I need to record a verbal parody, terribly sung.  No, I just want to get this sucker out of my head. Please, make it go away.

Rants 1, 2 and 3 From a Pedestrian's Point Of View

#1 Rant for today: To the two idiotic, cheap, selfish side-by-side neighbors on Graham Rd. between 9th and 13th, south side. Your driveways are not a luge run. People actually do WALK on that section of Graham Rd. How is it possible in a 3 mile stretch, you two are the only jerks who didn't shovel or salt your damn sidewalks and driveways? And don't rely on the sun to de-ice you; you'll get afternoon sun in about, oh, maybe April. I slid down your damn sidewalk and almost ended IN Graham Rd. Stupid butt-heads --- you are lucky I'm just banged up and bruised. I hope you can't get up your driveways! I hope somebody decides to go after your two sorry butts. It won't be me; I don't have the time. Thanks for nothing, you jack-wipes!
On a positive note, the trip was worth the fall. I found what I needed for our upcoming murder mystery Feb. 13-14th at Quail Hollow performed by 1MobInc

#2 Not everyone in your little universe drives a stinkin' car. Some folks walk or ride bikes.

#3 That little lever on the left hand side of your steering column is called a TURN SIGNAL. It's there for a reason. It's not for decoration. Start using the damn thing.

I'm tired of strangers, friends and loved ones who either don't use it at all or think it's kind a random, optional thing. "Oh, I'm in the left hand turn lane, therefore everyone should know I'm turning left." Right. The way people drive today, that's not a given! If I were Queen, I would make it a law that you have to use that thing AT THE TIME! Indicate, indicate, indicate where the heck you are going. It's lazy, inconsiderate people like you that get people like me killed or injured, whether we are on foot or on a bike.

Bring back Driver's Ed; it seems like the grown-ups need a refresher course.

On a note about Rant #1: Here's the deal and why I don't have a tremendous amount of sympathy for the 2 driveway people.
First of all, this is NE Ohio. We get snow and ice in the winter. Fact. It's not like it's some random weird weather occurrence as though we lived in Texas or someplace that does not get a lot of snow and/or ice.

Second: If you can't salt or shovel, and you go to church, put it out to the parish that you need help. If you have money, there are people who shovel and salt driveways in trucks. There are the Boy Scouts, Volunteers of America, and other orgs that will do stuff like that for shut-ins or the elderly. We don't live in some extremely rural area,like the northern pine woods of Maine or Alaska. We live in a CITY, ergo there are a ton or orgs to help out elderly or shut-ins with just this kind of stuff. And it's TWO driveways not one. One I get. Two I don't. The next person that falls there could sue these people and they could lose their houses. It just wasn't the sidewalk; that I get, kind of. Our city does not require you to salt your sidewalks. It was the whole driveway of both houses all the way down to the street. After I got up, I had to walk almost up to the houses themselves to avoid it. If that makes me an unsympathetic person, than so be it. Some truly elderly or disabled person that has to walk that way to catch a bus (and there is a bus stop about 100 yards down the street) or go the store will hurt themselves. I'm not worried about me. I'm tough; but somebody else could bust a hip.

Alan Rickman & Donald Trump

I was thinking about David Bowie and Alan Rickman dying from cancer. Which is sad. And then there is all this hoopla about Donald Trump. Which is stupid.

We talk about politicians etc. And I am grateful I can vote. I'm glad I live in a country where we can discuss these things. But I have to say, when people get all honked off about this and that. Frankly, it gets kind of silly.

I just think about what I would consider to be "real" stuff. Health stuff. Too many people getting or dying of cancer. Too many people being overweight and having diabetes etc. Prejudice. This overwhelming sense of so many people being proverbially pissed off all the time.

I think we need to take care of ourselves and our bodies and spirits and not get our knickers in such a twist over what I consider to be inane stuff like politics.

Get out of the house. Go see a play. Go see Star Wars. Go hear some live music. If you can't get out, watch something funny on TV, a movie or youtube. Try and move. Get off your arse. And most of all......

Try to be grateful because life is short!

Peace On Earth, Good Will Towards Men?

Let me stir the pot here a bit because there's been a lot of chest-puffing and chest-banging lately especially by some noisy, mostly fundamental Christians who are using their religion as a political platform or to "rally" the people with a "we're better than them" rhetoric. I heard a terrifying political ad on TV exhorting people to vote for him because he was going to take care of the terrorists. He sounded a whole hell of a lot like....dare I say it, Hitler?

Careful with that one, folks, because it sure makes you sound a whole heck of a lot like....oh, wait for it....other extremist groups filled with hate and fear-mongering? Like, oh my...the KKK or....ISIS??

Yes, I wrote that. You read that right.

That crap sure isn't what I learned about Jesus in Sunday School.

Think about this one for a sec: Jesus was not about EX-clusion but IN-clusion.

At this time of year, when many celebrate the birth of the Christ child and/or the return of light or the festival of light (Hanukkah, Winter Solstice and Yule), shouldn't we should be thinking about light, caring, sharing, and peace on earth, good will toward men?

Shouldn't we, of whatever beliefs we have, be sending out prayers, thoughts, vibes, energies, beams of hope for peace, love and tolerance throughout the world? Instead of all that negative stuff? Just a thought....

Don't Make it About Religion, Please!

There was a posting from a friend of mine who understandably after today's tragic killings, that people need to fight for freedom and preserving the "Christian way of life." I replied ( because it got my knickers in a slight twist):

It's not even so much the Christian Way of Life, It's the "sensible, kind, joyous, have common sense, manners and decency, take care of your neighbor, pitch in and help, be responsible, shoulder your burdens, carry on, accept and give kids (especially) consequences" way of life. It's the way of life that when your neighbor's house burns down, you help. When a flood hits, you help. when a child, old person or animal is suffering you help.

One of the basic freedoms of this country is freedom to worship your Higher Power as you wish. (That includes mathematical principles, the nature of the universe or not believing in a Higher Power if you're an atheist). I'm not a Christian but I can respect the "do unto others etc." way of life. Please, my dear, don't make it about Christianity or the "Christian way of life." It really has nothing to do with Christianity and everything to do with humanity, and being humane, kind and responsible.

If anything the generation that came after the Baby Boomers doesn't get this, for the most part, and they should! Far too many of them are lazy, entitled spoiled brats. I'm talking 20 and 30 somethings. We Boomers raised them, so yes, our generation is partly to blame. I say this with all respect. My husband and stepson are non-active Marines and I believe they would agree with me.

We are all stuck on this Blue Planet together and we all need to get our collective heads out of our selfish, poor-me asses. I don't care if you are Christian, Jew, Muslim, atheist, pagan, Buddhist, Hindu or worship cats underneath an oak tree.....as the old song goes, "come on people/ smile on your brother/ everybody get together/ try to love one another right now."

If you're going to be an selfish, stupid idiot and go around shooting people or blowing restaurants up or killing 100+ hostages, you're an asshole. I don't care what your faith is. There is no way that the Divine "told" you to do that. My dogs are better behaved than you are. My dogs are closer to the heart of God, Goddess, Buddah, Allah, "Hey You", the Universe (whatever) than you will ever be because they love unceasingly.

I"m hear to tell you; don't make it about religion. That what those f---kers from ISIS are saying, "It's all for Allah, their religion." It's not about religion. It's about humanity, being human, being humane. These killers (and please stop calling them "shooters"....it's just too nice a word) don't care about common sense, humane thought, and looking out for the other guy. They are stupid sheep, and that's an insult to sheep.

We need to hold the families of those victims here in the States and in Paris close to our hearts. They are the ones who need the best of us, the most caring and loving parts of us, the part that has not forgotten our humanity. We are those families, we are Paris, we are Colorado, we are Oklahoma, we are the Twin Towers. I pray, in my way, to the Great Mother of us all to hold those victims and their families in Her Loving Arms. I pray, in my way, for people to get their heads out of their asses too.

Blessings to all of you at this time of year which is important for so many cultures and beliefs. Mine included!

Amen, Selah, So mote it be!

Insulted But.....Consider The Source!

I think I've just been insulted.

How am I supposed to take, "Well, they know who you are at Western Reserve (sort of) but other than that, nobody knows who you are."

Seriously?  I talked to Al about it and he said, and rightly so, "Well, they didn't promote us properly.  It's not our job to promote THEIR BENEFIT!" (Thank you, Al.)  Which makes sense.  There are a lot of good people out there, performing, that nobody has heard of.  It's all in promotion; you promote the EVENT, not necessarily the PLAYERS in that event.  Now I know why Al wouldn't come with me when I had to go to that ridiculous meeting to sell and (more degrading) justify myself and the show.  He's smart.  I wish I could have dodged that bullet.

Lesson learned: it's not necessarily who you are but how you are promoted.  And that's not our job.  Our job is provide quality entertainment.  It's their benefit, not ours.

I should enter the diplomatic corps.  I put on my little, soothing Producer's Hat and said nice platitudes about the nice folks from the nice theater board.  (It's called "acting.") The Performer in me would have raised a riotous stink-shit, which I rarely do except over costumes; wigs to be specific.  The Director in me would have snapped back, "MY job is deliver a good show, YOUR job is promote that show.  So if you want the seats filled, that's on YOU!"

Is there anywhere on this flyer, other than one stinkin' sentence that talks about what a fun, quality event this will be?  No, it's too "busy." Telling people how to GET there.  Seriously?  Just give them the damn address, with a brief, "go behind the building" thing.  Seriously?  And thank you very much for NOT asking me if you could use my friend's photo and getting approval from Al, who is sensitive about how he looks in photos.  Understandable.

I feel lower than snake shit.  Suddenly, "less than."  Who are they to say they've never heard of me?  Maybe they haven't.  In the end, does it matter?  My sister is so funny; her comment was, "Well, I hope they lose money!  After all, it's their fault."

But, wait, something good happened in the middle of my self-pitying abyss....
http://miaharted.blogspot.com/2015/11/an-unexpected-gift-in-my-inbox.html

I think I'll focus on THIS positive thing than the petty, provincial Minds of Others.  I shouldn't feel superior to the Small Minds that live in this community,  but, yes, I do, actually.

Another Rant: Violence in Paris, Kenya and Beirut

Uh, oh...here we go....it's another Rant From Mia!
Is it just me or does anyone else think that the tragic, unfathomable events in Paris and Kenya (and Beirut) are not just horrific and tragic but also selfish and stupid? 
I think anyone who perpetrates these crimes is a selfish, idiotic, turd-wad of sub-humanity. Sheep are better behaved than you are and you're all a bunch of sheep listening to some yahoo who thinks they are just going to terrorize the world. 
Why? What's your reasoning? Oh, that's right. You just hate anybody who isn't you. Charming. Not. Stupid. Yes!
Nasty, bad, terrorist people of the world, get a grip! Put on your thinking caps for two minutes and actually THINK about what you are doing and the 
repercussions of your actions. Seriously how does this much hate and violence help you and your "cause?" Oh, you great, colossal stupids, you might feel better for a bit after you blow up a few restaurants, churches, synagogues and schools but in the end, what did it do for you? Your victims and their loved ones suffer terribly, not that you give a whit. 
Here's a little clue-by-four for you: those who might look like you or be from your country will now suffer from hate and prejudice just because they look like you or worship like your sorry carcasses. Nice going, Ace, you just screwed it up for your countrymen. Didn't think about that, did ya, Sparky?
You think you're all big and bad because you blew up a school in Kenya? You think you're some super prick because you killed a bunch of people in Paris and took hostages? You are NOT a real man. I know REAL men and you aren't even in the same universe. My dog is more of a real man then you will ever be. 
By the way, if these horrible people really want us all to go back to the Middle Ages and subjugate women because your boy parts think our girl parts are "less than," there are a whole bunch of women and the REAL men of this world who LOVE to re-educate your backwards buttocks! 
Oh, and your rants that the West is wicked? Hey, uh, guess what? You sure like that whole technology thing, don't you? I don't see you getting rid of your cell phones and CARS anytime soon. 
By the way....heads up. If I were you, I would not want to piss off the French. Unlike our government, theirs will not be kind or wishy-washy. 
"Vive Le France, amour et des prières" and "Upendo na sala," Kenya

Professional Rant

Major Rant Warning: Do not read further if you don't feel like reading a rant.

I know my worth, finally after all those years of people putting me down, denigrating me, telling me I'm not as good as so-and-so, telling me I ain't got no talent, etc.etc. etc.

Do not try and cheat me on a gig. Do not try and cheat me on my photos.

Utah Cowboys © Mia Hess, Dogbuttz Photography

No, sir, I don't CARE if your church would "like" my cowboy picture; it's still XYZ price for an 11x14. I only give away my art to people I love and respect as gifts. I've won awards for my photos. I've also been paid for my graphic art and I'm not thrilled that someone decided to change it without asking me first and getting my permission and authorization. (I'll have to put that in the next contract...) I'm really incensed about that.

No, Mr. Band Leader, I've made XYZ on this type of gig, this SAME gig for the last 10-15 years. You do not get to pay me $15 less especially when I had to trudge through mud to get the site in a suit and pumps and your sound system is so old it doesn't take my mic cord. Funny, It did every other time!.

I've been singing professionally since 1981 and acting professionally since 1970. When I volunteer my time and talents; it's by MY choice, not yours.

Oh my, it sounds like I grew a pair big enough to bust out of my bra and I put on my big girl panties, doesn't it? Meeeee-yow!!

On a positive note, I found a smashing, long, red dress to wear for our show for only $30!! Who's all coming?

Superb Quote

“Honestly, is it just me or is the human race, armed with religion poisoned by prejudice and absolutely frantic with hatred and fear, galloping pell-mell back to the Dark Ages. Who on earth is hurt by a little girl going to school or a child being gay?”

Raymond Reddington (The Black List) 

Written by Daniel Cerone, aired 10.22.2015

What an awesome quote!!!

The Dentist Vs. The Lion

Now I might be stirring up a hornet's nest here but this recent crud with the dentist luring the lion and then not even killing it, but letting ti suffer for HOURS. OK, here goes....

I'm not against hunting, say deer, per se, but this was basically a canned hunt which I think is despicable.

I have friends who hunt and BELIEVE me they don't let that deer suffer at all. And they use and eat (or donate to food banks) every bit of the deer. Folks who live up north in Alaska take a moose and eat it all winter.

I get where hunting in Africa is very big business and actually contributes to the big parks' survival. Very controversial, yes, I know. Photo safaris don't bring in nearly the money that big game hunting does You can go on a good photo safari for about $3,000-5,000. Hunting is about $20,000 and up. .

And the white rhino??? This guy has killed a white rhino. That one really got me. Those suckers are so endangered. Why the hell are people killing endangered animals?

But come on....a basically friendly lion? That's canned hunting, period I think it should be kind of equal: hungry, mean lion versus dentist with a spear and a loincloth and nothing else. I get hunting to eat but I don't get trophy hunting.

The Charleston Church Tragedy and Stupidity

Stupid is as stupid does.  Just sayin'

Here is a great article, hopefully you can see the Link: anti-intellectualis is killing america

The Dumbing Down of America has been happening for quite a while.  I will always maintain my opinion that Fundamentalism is a dangerous thing, especially when it affects politics and education.  "Keep 'em stupid," is becoming the norm.  Many aspects of Big Business and many politicians want people to be stupid, scared and reactionary.  We've certainly seen that in fundamental Muslim groups and we see it in America.  It's easier to control a herd of frightened, angry, lost people.

Charleston is just the latest example of fear and blind ignorance.  My heart bleeds for those people.

It's one of the reasons I might have a really hard time living in the South.  I'm too smart for most places.  I am well-educated.  I use Big Words.  I appreciate the arts and have respect for science as well as loving nature.

I believe that God's time is not necessarily human time.  How long could God's day be?  A nano-second or millennium.  Do you know?  No, you don't, now do you?

As for the Confederate flag flying over a state building, I have to ask why?  That is NOT the state flag or North Carolina or Georgia or any place else in the South.  The Civil War ended in 1865.  That is 150 YEARS ago!!  You don't see Germany flying the Swastika, now do you?   Their losses and bosses were much more horrific than the Civil War.  Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it.

I hate to say it because the North was the winning side but I will exclaim, "Get over it.  Move on with your lives!  Stop drinking the Kool-aid"

We are 50 UNITED states, and so far, succession hasn't happened.  Instead of moaning on about it and reliving a tragic part of American history, why not join  together in brotherhood, with loving kindness and tolerance? That might be a much better, healthier option. People of all colors, denominations, sexual preferences are still human beings.  We all bleed red.  We all want a safe home filled with love and joy.  We want food on our tables and a place to sleep.

If you are going to quote your Bible as a justification for violence, perhaps you need to take Jesus as your example. He suffered the little children to come to him.  (I'm not a Christian but I have read the Bible cover to cover many times.)  Are we not all children of the Universe?  Do we not all share this Blue Planet together?  Are we not made of the same things: blood, bone and sinew?  Are we all not children of the Divine?

I for one, am so damn tired of ignorance and fear.  Fear within, fear without.  I think taking the wise words of my friend's English mum, "You're dead if you worry, you're dead if you don't.  So why worry?"  to heart is not a bad thing at all.

Wouldn't all this energy be better spent learning things?  Things like science, art, what makes the flowers grow?  It seems we've lost curiosity.  It seems we accept being fed whatever crap Fox News (for example) and the hate/fear-mongers are dishing out. It's like Germany in pre-war times and if you don't know about that, well, damnit you should.

Since when did worshiping in your place of faith (whether it be church or synagogue, a temple or underneath God's sky) become a shooting ground?
Truly, "Verily I say unto you: Love thy neighbor as THYSELF.  Do unto others as you would have others do unto you."  If you want to follow the Christ's teachings, that's a pretty fine place to start.  Your Christ would no more have taken a spear and gone into a Roman temple and killed everyone.

We have a limited time in our earthly bodies.  If you believe in Hell, Purgatory or Limbo, do you really want your soul to end up there?  Because being an ignoramus is sure as hell a great place to start.

Instead of expending your energies sowing hate, why don't you learn something new everyday?  A new word, a new song, a new way to build something?  Why not ask questions of people you don't know and find out about their humanity?
I am blessed to have many friends with many different belief systems: Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Pagan, Muslims and even those who don't necessarily believe in a a form of the Creator.  I don't get people that say science and faith are incompatible.  That's just well, ignorant.

Why Have A Dog That.....?

Is it just me or am I crazy?

Why in the world would you have a dog that had to be heavily monitored and watched like a hawk when it had bitten, lunged or tried to attack numerous people?

I just don't get it.  Just thinking about it makes me tired.

I have 2 friends (with non-ACDs) who have dogs that are (to me) ticking time-bombs.  The dogs have to muzzled 100% of the time when they are anywhere people might be.  One of my friend's dogs is very sick and has to be under full sedation so the vet's staff can monitor him.

I get a crabby snap when the dog is in a lot of pain; heck, I snap too when I'm in pain.  I get the "Ooops, mistake" bite too.  It happens.  Dogs bite. I'm just wondering why all the effort for dogs that are never, ever going to live even close to a "normal" life.

What's makes this even more ironic is both these folks are 100% all positive  trainers.  I'm not dissing all-positive training.  Artie was trained AP.  But what is the point of having personal dogs that can't be left with anyone or any place?

With all the good, easy, nice, "balanced" dogs out there in rescue and in shelters, why (quite frankly) waste years on a dog that will never get better?

I just don't get it.

"Precious" Parenting Sucks.

Read this:
http://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/what-would-my-mom-do-drink-tab-and-lock-us-outside

My mom drank Tab and threw our carcasses outside.  We went to summer camp on a bus, thank you very much.  We walked to school (4-10 blocks away) or were bused. We were NOT constantly signed up for activities or given stuff on a daily basis

You had to pick ONE after school activity (a sport or in my case, theater).

If we whined about being bored, Mom gave us chores.  Least favorite: scrubbing the carpet by hand.

We had to behave ourselves in restaurants and at social events, but could bring a coloring book or small toy.

We could watch TV one hour a day and some on Saturday mornings so they could sleep in.  We rode bikes and horses without helmets.  We learned stranger danger and were expected to have two brain cells to rub together.

Record players were in our rooms, so we could listen to Mom Approved music (which could be the Beatles or Motown or Petula Clark).  I had an art area in the basement.

We had to fold the and put away laundry, make our beds, clean up and do dishes when Mom had dinner parties for 50.  And that all started young.  I had to make my bed at age 5.

When my brother and sister wanted cars, they got jobs and paid for their junkers.  I had to work at a barn for my riding lessons.

My mom was not My Best Friend; my dad was not My Buddy, she was my mother and he was my Father.  Period.  We got spanked when it was merited and it was!  Sassing back was unacceptable.  Their word was law but we were loved.  Most definitely loved.  We were fortunate kids but we weren't spoiled either.

We turned out just fine.  I have severe doubts about the next generation.

Blogging: This One VS Wordpress

Perhaps because I've used "blogspot" (or "blogger dot com" or whatever the flavor du jour name is) for quite a while now but I find it easy to use.  I started noticing about a year ago that a lot of people use Wordpress. A lot of people whose blogs get read and commented on use WP as opposed to this one.

Yes, I said their name.  Wordpress. I've used it in my blog. Oh, bad me.  I'm damned for all eternity to have said their name on the Internet.  I'm going to use it in vain too.

Why do people blog?  It's basically journaling on the Net as opposed to paper.  There are a zillion different kinds of blogs and blogging out there.  Family, memories, parenting, animal, writing, creativity, cooking, political, social etc. etc. etc.  You get the idea. Facebook has given me a wealth of topics to blog about usually because someone got my goat or sparked a memory.

I think essentially why we blog or journal is the universal need to be heard. To be "seen." To feel creative.   We blog to capture our moment of cleverness, clarity or even genius. In a sense, we blog to immortalize ourselves.  We don't want to be forgotten.  As long as the Web lasts, we will last.  Our thoughts, ideas, recipes, photos etc. are there as though part of our essence is carved in stone with 0s and 1s. Our grandchildren or generations beyond can "know" us.

Digression.  The bane of blogging, journaling and often conversation.  Back to Wordpress.

I think Wordpress sucks.  I think it's a clunky, nasty, decidedly UN-friendly program. And I think at this point in my Technological Life, I'd like to think I'm relatively savvy at negotiating sites.  However, if you want to be heard (without a zillion ads cloggin' yo' bloggin') WP is the way most people go. A dear friend of mine (from the dog world) was lamenting WP just the other day and I said, "Why do you use that p.o.s. program?"

I confess, I do have a WP account but I almost always post a link to whatever my latest and greatest is to this one instead of trying to work around that scut-bucket loser of a site.

Telemarketers

What is this: National Call For Donations day??  Yes, we have Caller ID but they are getting so tricky, you don't always know.

8:30 in the f------ morning, the phone rings. (I had a crummy night's sleep so I'm really in no mood). Local area code, so I'm not sure.  It might be someone I know. And early in the morning, I'm on alert. Good news is rarely early in the morning or late at night.  In the dead of night, I've taken to answering the phone with: "What hospital or who's dead?"  A little disconcerting to an upset friend/relative who needs to talk.

Ha! that 216 area code was deceiving.  It's University Hospitals.

A guy, with a (granted) beautifully trained voice reads the spiel about the hospitals and ends with, "Shall we start with a $75 donation or would $50 work better for you."

I've worked in telemarketing ages past so my ordinary response to a live person is (depending on my mood):

1) I've done what you do, and it sucks.  No. Thanks. Have a good day.
2) No, not interested. Thanks.
3) And in the case of Bath Fitters, the most persistent of them all.

"I can get my bathroom entirely redone by a reputable contractor AND get a bathtub I actually LIKE for what you guys charge to recover the bathtub I hate. Why would i recover the tub I hate?"

BF: Dead silence for a moment of recovery.  "Well, we have a special going on...and we will be in your area giving estimates...."

"Are you going to replace the bathtub I hate?"

BF: Pause.  "No, we don't do that.  But we'd love to give you an estimate again."

"Look, honey, we eventually will get a new bathtub.  Not a recovered one. So you really need to take me off your list because you guys are too expensive and won't do what I want. OK?"

Call ends. For about 4 months, I don't hear from them but they crop up like orange barrels in Ohio.

But today, as the University Hospitals telemarketer set me up smoothly for the pitch and the swing, I start to chuckle, then I started to laugh. Softly at first then a good, sarcastic roll.

"Really?  REALLY?" I chortle. "Dude, you need to look at my last name AND our address because we've been at UH for some mighty big stuff (I give him the brief, one-sentence version). so if you think I'm DONATING, I'll let someone else's insurance company do the 'donating,' OK?"

Telemarketer (audible gulp): "Oh, my god I am so sorry.  I'm so sorry!"

And so every half hour after that, it's been another g----damn telemarketing call. The last one was Red Cross.  Will I donate blood?  Just tell me when and where and no I'm not going anywhere I have to get into a vehicle for. We haven't had an area disaster that I'm aware of and you always seem to have plenty of my blood type. My blood type is apparently quite common and

uninteresting.  One of the nurses admitted this to me.  And no, I'm not making an appointment.

ARC: "Blah, blah, blah..."

"I SAID I'll donate blood in my area and I will not make an appointment. Not unless you want to pay me for my plasma."

ARC: "Blah, blah, blah...."

"Yes I said I'll donate but no I won't make an appointment and no I won't go anywhere I can't walk to.  How hard is this for you all to get?"

I hate to imagine if I were a universal donor or a rare blood type.

It's now 20 some years since I did telemarketing and with each passing year, I get less sympathetic and kind.

It's Frustrating.....

How is it possible that I have walked 180 miles, cycled 647 miles (outside, road and trail), hill-hiked 25 miles, been to probably 50 yoga classes from March 1st to date and have not lost ONE stinking pound or one pant size? My blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, bone density, blood work etc. is fabulous. My doctor is stupefied at how good all that stuff is for my age or even for someone 20 years younger than I am. Yet, I'm still considered overweight and need to lose 20-25 pounds to continue in this way.
I don't care what any MALE has to say on this subject. Any guy that says, making that same effort I did and he can't lose one stinking pound in 9 months is a liar.
Over 50, female and post-menopausal SUCKS!
Hate to complain because (on the Gratitude Scale I'm pretty lucky) at least I am ABLE to walk, hike, bike and (attempt to) do yoga but frankly this sucks.
Hating myself right now.
OK, swear this is my last complaint because I seriously have so much to be grateful for.....
If I thought getting hypnotized would work for not being hungry late at night, I'd jump on that like white on rice. I eat late at night and I seriously don't know how to stop it. I start at dinner (always late because that's when we eat) and never stop. It's like a nervous twitch.

Since When Is "Hot" An Insult?

I have a wonderful Spousal Unit who compliments me so well.  I am so lucky.  He will tell me I'm pretty etc and "hot."  I think he is crazy but so am I!

Now, I saw a comment on a friend's FB page by a MAN who said, "What kind of jerk calls a woman that (hot)?"  Really?

Let me tell you...at some point in a woman's life when she ain't 20 or 30 or even (dare I say it) 40, she'd probably kill if some younger guy said she was hot. I have to say, I'm almost hitting a big-0 age and the thought of some younger, good looking guy saying that to me makes me...well....it's very nice.  I also think he's probably delusional.

At this point in my life, "Hot" means I did my makeup (spackle??) right, the lighting was extremely good, he needed glasses (and a goodly distance) and my Spanx channeled a 50's era girdle with a a Scotty voice, "I'm giving her all I got, Cap'n!"

Just sayin'.

As long as it's sincere, "Hot" is a very nice compliment!

Am I An Idiot?

I think I need to bitch and get head-slapped as well?

For starters, joyously: My S.U. and I had a wonderful vacation at WDW! We had a blast!

Because I've been stressed out before when my step-daughter, M, has stayed with my animals, I was in a real panic about who would care for my animals.  I asked around and prices for people just coming in once a day were really high.  I'm sorry, but $30 for a 30 minute let-out?

I was super-anxious and extraordinarily stressed about this whole thing.  Finally, I got through prayer (thank you, MH) and a "I Think I Know Someone" miracle, a nice gal (MK) about 10 years younger than us who has a son (P.) with Asperger's.  No worries!  Thank you, God and Angels!

They live in the neighborhood and so could come and go to care for the dogs and the best news was MY CAT, Rufus the Magnificent, Lord (Doofus) of the Universe LIKED them!  (No small feat as he really does not like M...which is strange as most cats love her.)  Best of all: so reasonable!

Now, I must preface this with the last time M stayed with us, about a month ago, I came home to 12 loads of stinky (cat piss and moldy) laundry, my house smelled like cheap cigarettes (and for you smokers, you KNOW the difference), the beds were unmade, sheets not cleaned, dirty dishes in the sink and my den (where the dogs are) was a total mess. Mind you, she has just turned 29 so she's not some teenager.  All this chaos was accomplished in 48 hours, which takes some doing. Add on to that she has very nervous (almost frantic), unrestful, unfocused yet lazy energy; is a monologue-chatter-box and is always in a hurry.  She has two modes: Dead-Asleep and The I'm Late, I'm Late! Tornado.

Rufus was so freaked out by that stinky laundry he never went in the basement where his litter box and food was.  We came home that evening from an idyllic weekend by the lake.  He came out from hiding, mewing and crying, and promptly shat on our stairs.

So after this debacle in July, I vowed that Never Again could she stay in my house overnight.

Famous last words, right?

I make ALL the arrangements for MK and P. to take care of the critters.  I'm feeling pretty good about all of this. Then M does the beg/plead thing.  "I'll do it!  I can take care of the animals!!  A. (her boyfriend) and I need to get out of our house; it's so stressful there, we hate our roommates.  Can't we please spend some nights there; we just need to get out of our house.  Plus I have a lot of laundry I need to do...."

Well, call me a softie.  I certainly have been in a similar situation in my lifetime.

Better yet: call me an idiot.  I suppose a real wo/man would have said, "No."

I said yes, she could spend a few nights (not all six) here BUT her laundry could never come in the house.  It had to stay in the garage and be brought in one load at a time.  And no smoking of course.  I did tell MK that if she came and there was more than one load of laundry in the basement, would she please bag it and put it on the front porch? I even told her where the disposable gloves are. I firmly told M. I wanted my house to stay clean.  I didn't want her dad coming home to a dirty house and being stressed out after a vacation!  It's stressful enough that his blood sugar was just diagnosed as too high....he is NOT thrilled.

In retrospect, I should have nixed the whole M&A being able to crash here the night before we left. A while back I had lent M. my old netbook to look for jobs.  I did need it back for the trip as a photo back-up.  Late and last minute as usual, she tripped up the porch stairs, overloaded as is her wont.  (Two trips from the car?  Unthinkable.) The netbook took flight and since netbooks don't have wings, it crashed landed, breaking the screen.  Poor little Elf.

I digress.

Now I am hardly a Home and Garden or Architectural Digest house-keeper.  I leave that to my siblings!  :-)  But I'd like things to stay basically the way I left them.  When I stay at someone's house I do try to leave things tidy and nice.  If I pet-sit, I do their laundry, vacuum etc.  I did ask MK to keep an eye on stuff for me and asked my other friend, ML, as well.   (All these Ms!)  I also told M that MK and P. would be spending a few nights here and that THEY got priority over where to sleep.

Nothing like having some Moms On The Job, so to speak because I got the 411 on how things were really being left.  Ashtrays in my den and the house was starting to stink.  And this is from Moms With Teenage Boys.

Instead of calling M and going through the whole ya-da-ya on the phone, I resorted to Text Messaging.  (I know.  Call me a Coward.)

Sunday: A friend of mine stopped by the check on dogs. Saw ashtrays in den. There is no smoking in our house.  Your last night there is tonight.  MK will need Monday & Tuesday to tidy up the house. 

Now (of course) I get this somewhat frantic phone call at WDW from a justifying M.  "I just brought the ashtrays in from the back yard.  I know not to smoke in the house."

I ask you: why would anyone DO that?  I'm still trying to wrap my head around this.  There is a trash can right there.  I smoked two packs a day. I know the drill.  Empty the damn ashtrays, let them sit outside upside down in case it rains.  There is no earthly reason to bring your full-of-butts ashtrays indoors.  Unless you figure the house windows are open....hmmmm?....so no harm, no foul?

I guess I should have been more specific.  No ashtrays in the house.  No nothing that has anything to DO with smoking in the house.

We did come home to a lovely peaceful house, thanks to MK.

Of course I did get the whole skinny on the incredible mess that M. left everywhere (but did take with her) and oh, there was the fast food they ate and threw the wrappers in the trash in the den. Which the dogs got into (of course) and made a huge mess of, thank you very much.  (Not.)  And oh, boy was she pissed when she got your text and thank you very much for not specifying exactly which one of us Moms squealed on her.  And when she and A. were here, Rufus hid.  We could only get him to come out when they were gone. Etc.

Here's the kicker, and very weird too.  We came home Tuesday evening and the water heater had broken.  Not surprising (it's 12 years old) just very inconvenient!  We buy a water heater and an installation at Lowe's for the next day (Wed.)  All goes well; the plumbing guy is finishing up.

The phone rings.

Thinking it's Marty, I don't check caller-ID and answer it. It's M. While I'm on the phone with her, the spigot going into the cold water hose to the new tank springs a huge, spraying leak which causes another huge leak in another pipe.  What was a one hour job turned into four hours.

I think I need a serious protection spell and lots of prayers.

Having MK here, knowing she and P. were caring for the dogs and Rufus made our vacation stress-free.  We could enjoy ourselves, knowing that all was well. She was truly a gift from (the) god(s)!

I guess what I'm afraid of is this: if I put my big girl pants on and say No Way to M. ever spending the night here again (pet-sitting or not)...will Karma get me for being "mean?"

And MK, you're hired!

Too Many Cattledogs In Shelters?

I have gotten my cattledogs from responsible breeders, a breed rescue and a shelter.  I have also (briefly) fostered one.

A good point was made that yes, an abundance of ACDs in shelter are geographical.  For instance, in S. Ohio, you'll see many more than say in NE Ohio.

Also, it must be taken into consideration: different shelters have different criteria.
Some take owner surrenders.
Some automatically kill a certain type, look, age of dog.
Some are so antiquated that they kill black animals automatically, because statistics have shown that all black cats and dogs are the last to get adopted.
Some take the stray off the street.
Some only take abused, abandoned and neglected animals.

My Artie is from such a shelter and he is the only obviously purebred ACD under a year (he was 3-4) months they have gotten in ANYONE'S memory (going back 13-14 YEARS!).  He was literally, a rarity and because I was a volunteer there AND had ACD experience they wanted me to have him.  (Lucky me).

Secondly: a lot of dogs that are being labeled ACDs  just aren't.  They are mixes of ACD and something else. Granted there ARE a lot of fine looking purebred ACDs out there, but I'm sorry, if it's mostly body spots, narrow headed, thin-tailed, weedy-legged, pale-eyed it's not my idea of a cattledog; wonderful doggy though it may be.

Third: A responsible breeder will ALWAYS, ALWAYS TAKE THE DOG BACK.  If they aren't dead, they'll take it back. They may, after watching it, caring for it, analyzing and consulting other trusted folks (vets, behaviorists, etc.) about it's behavior etc. rehab it, wisely, carefully rehome it or humanely euthanize it.

Responsible breeders keep track of all their dogs and all the ones I know have spay-neuter contracts.

A responsible breeder microchips their dogs and most hold co-ownership with any intact dogs they sell, say for show.  Twenty years ago, my first cattledogs were tattooed.

When I owned a dog bred by the late, great Deb Clark, if WE (she and us) had decided to ever breed him (which we never did) she had the final say over who he would be bred to, as she knew bloodlines better than I did.  When his hips came back OFA fair, we decided to not pass that on and neutered him.  He was a champion of record and that was enough.

Very rarely does some responsible breeder's baby end up in a high kill shelter.  And boy, if it does, there's going to be hell to pay!

A good breeder doesn't just breed 2 litters a year to the same bitch.

A good breeder has AT LEAST TWICE as many approved homes for even the largest litter they'll produce.

A good breeder doesn't over-breed their bitch either.

A good breeder almost always DOES breed rescue; they help breed rescue in some manner, way, shape or form.

For many of you reading this, The Hershey puppy mill bust where so many ACDs were found is a faint memory.  Note this: ACD people from all over the area converged to help those dogs. Two years ago, over 200 Rottweilers were found in Texas in horrific conditions.  ARC (the national breed club) and devotees of Rotts from all over the country and even Canada banded together to save those dogs. These were BREEDERS and show people for the most part, folks.

If we put a moratorium on breeding:
A) we lose the breed
B) you will never, ever stop BYB*.  Ever.

Can we stop puppy mills?  Absolutely. And yes, it's horrible that even one dear ACD ends up in a shelter.  Yes, the numbers are appalling.  6,000 estimated is too much.

But look at all the Chihuahuas inundating shelters in California, tens of thousands of them are killed every year.

And pits or pit types???  Those poor dogs?  Talk about crappy breeding!  So many of them have bad legs, bad backs, horrible teeth, skin conditions, mental screws loose.  That's what BYB and money grabbers have done, just in the last 15-20 years, to American's Dog, The Nanny Dog, the dog breed that gave us Sgt. Stubby, the most decorated dog in US military history, still. If you talk to responsible breeders of APBTs and AmStaffs, those people have such a tight grasp on where their pups go it puts most ACDs breeders to shame (and that takes some doing.) Plus they must fight the daily onslaught of idiot bully owners and Breed Specific Legislation (BSL), an evil which even touches our beloved herding breeds.

Do not blame the responsible **COE breeder. Talk to them instead.

Rescues, Kennel clubs, National, Area and State breed clubs MUST learn to work together to help dogs and help owners who are overwhelmed, need help with training, in financial difficulties, have severe health issues etc.  We all need to remember that this is not necessarily a "dog problem", this is mainly a "people problem."  If we all band together, instead of flailing each other (and rescue groups are NOTORIOUS for infighting and flailing) miracles can and do happen.


*BYB: Back Yard Breeders
** COE: code of ethics

Now THAT's Singing

Great job, Mr. Seger! I've never been a huge Seger fan but the man could sing.  As is apparent here.  (Bob Seger sings "Hollywood Nights" a Capella). Remember, I'm not much of a rocker.  I'm more of Pop and Standards girl.

I was just complaining about this yesterday to a 20-something as my ears were being slammed with sound...

Young people, including this, will say "Isn't s/he great?"

I say: "How in the ____ would I know? First of all s/he is rapping, that's not singing. I don't care if there's "music" in the background. Let me hear him/her live a capella. Without all the processing and auto-tune crap. Let me hear him sing some Smokey or Vandross or Eckstein. Then come and ask me!"

This is what any competent to great singer can do, sing with no accompaniment, start and end on the same pitch and keep a beat.  I can do it, thank God.

HERE is the song with all the bells and whistles. (Original album version). And Seger was still singing it as of 2011 albeit in a slightly lower key. Still cranking it out.

Good for you, Bob! He's was 68 in May 2013.